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9/30/05
Well, pending my background check revealing that I went on a massive crime spree in 1964, I should be starting my new job on the 10th!

I discovered that the magic words are, "Yes, I will work any shift you want me to" and voila. Job.

And one of the nurse managers is a guy I went to high school with. Small world. Fingers crossed that my background check and references do alright.

later on 9/29/05
Boston, here we come! (Not "we" we, because I am not going to Fenway, but Yankees "we")

Even tho Tanyon was disappointing tonight, he still managed to get Aaron Small out of a jam in the 7th, and we still won. And Aaron Small must be delighted - 10-0 record, that's amazing. Plus, Giambi hit one out into Eutaw Street (the only Yankee since O'Neill), so he'll get a little bronze baseball in the pavement to mark that.

I wrote Tanyon Sturtze a fan letter. I hope it actually reaches him. I am such a dork. I'm 31, I shouldn't be doing this.

Interview tomorrow, plus have to return another job-related call. Then it's time to curl up on the couch and watch the YES network until game time.

9/29/05
Best roadtrip ever. Mom and I were watching the game Tuesday night, and I said, "Hey, Camden Yards looks pretty empty, we should go to Baltimore and go to the game tomorrow night."

So we did. Yankees won, 2-1, and Boston lost. Camden Yards is beautiful, a perfect park for baseball. They let people in two hours before the game and you can watch batting practice. So we watched the Orioles warm up and then the Yankees. And once they let people into the regular parts of the stadium, as opposed to just the sidelines, we worked our way around to where the pitching staff was shagging flies in the outfield. So there's Mike Mussina, Jaret Wright, John Flaherty - and Tanyon Sturtze! So I was right down front, about thirty feet away from them, and I called out, "Hey Tanyon!" and when he looked, I turned around to show my jersey. Got a huge smile and a thumbs-up and a wave and that just made my day. That and the win.

9/27/05
Filled out three applications and had one short interview today.

9/26/05
I can't write.

I'm too depressed. Or indifferent. Or just sad. I'm angry that I can't get a job. That I can't pay my bills. That I had a panic attack and couldn't control it. I wish little things didn't bother me, but then again, these aren't really little things. More and more I just want to move to that house in the middle of Vermont and hole up with my books and cats and be alone.

9/25/05
I had a fantastic weekend, marred by a massive panic attack in the middle of brunch yesterday. It was horrible, and I couldn't function. I hate not knowing what causes them, and I hate that they make me angry and upset and nauseated and teary and shaky. I cabbed up to Missy's and felt better as soon as I had some downtime and some fresh air.

Opera Friday was great, game today was great. It was just the breakdown in my brain yesterday that wasn't so great.

9/24/05
Happy birthday, Dad!

9/23/05
A sweep of the Orioles, that was nice. I'm going to miss tonight's game because Michael and I are seeing Patience at City Opera. Front row, so we're dressing up. And then I'm staying in the city for the weekend - tomorrow is movie with Missy and Sunday is the last home game (of the regular season). Busy weekend. And then it's back to sending out resumes and making calls.

9/21/05
Boston sucks! What's amazing about going to games at the stadium is that we don't even have to be playing Boston, we can be 300 miles from the nearest Red Sox fan, and still the crowd will chant, "Boston sucks!" at every opportunity. Missy, Michael, Patrick and I had a terrific time at the game, eating our overpriced stadium food and cheering our lungs out. Missy and I have decided that we've been (duh) wasting our time hanging out at Marie's, and that if we ever want to find boyfriends who love the Yankees as much as we do, we need to be going to more games. So we're going to look into partial ticket plans for next season. I think we can pull it off.

And since we won and Boston lost, the Yanks are officially in first place again! We were there for what, two days, earlier this season, and it feels to good to be back where we belong. Super game, super crowd.

I will now do the happy dance around my room.

9/20/05
The "owwie" part of me says "Ow, Brian Roberts dislocating his elbow on a play at first really, really hurt!" But the Yankee fan part of me says, "Wow, one of their best players is now out for the rest of the season." We're still 1/2 game in back of Boston for the division, but all that means is that we can take first place from them tomorrow, when I am at the stadium.

9/19/05
Got the fan switch fixed on my car today. Finally. The entire thing works. Now if only gas weren't so expensive. I passed the time while waiting for them to do the work by flipping through a catalog of Caribbean vacations. Oh... the beaches and pools. I want to go. Go and sit and do nothing. Kind of like I am now, but without the job-hunting and resume-sending and stress. Just do nothing all day.

Tesse might not be able to make the game on Wednesday. I'm sad, because I know she's having a rough time with sick friends and family members, and I think it would be a good diversion, but sometimes all you want to do is wallow at home. Don't I know it.

Wow, baseball and time travel, conveniently wrapped up in one book. I'm reading this next, as soon as I finish the fifth Diana Gabaldon book (the sixth comes out next week).

9/18/05
It's too hot to sleep in my room. This shouldn't be true, since it's really cooled off outside at night, and I have my windows open, but it is. I think it's because my fan blows towards the window, moving hot inside-air around, but there's no way to position it in the window that I can figure out. Anyway. I've taken to falling asleep on the couch downstairs, which is really incredibly comfortable (Ektorp from Ikea). And then I wake up around 5am and crawl back into my bed, and by then the room has cooled off a lot more and I can manage it. Oddly enough, I can't wait for the cold of winter so I can crawl under all of my quilts and blankets which are currently piled up in the guest room. And with the price of oil, I'm sure I'll be using all of them instead of us turning on the furnace.

Donald Trump and Megan Mulally singing the Green Acres theme song on the Emmy's might be the funniest thing I've ever seen. At least this week.

Yankees lost to Toronto today. But it's OK, Boston lost, too, so we're still 1.5 games back. The Indians won tho, so we're also 1.5 back in the wild card. I like focussing on baseball. It's something, after all. Takes my mind off this funk.

9/17/05
Aww, Fever Pitch was such a great movie. Nice and sappy. Even if it is about the Red Sox, in a way. I really loved it. I even got a little teary when Jimmy Fallon put away the little Red Sox onesie.

I have a burning need for DSL. After watching Cano's grand slam in this little tiny box on yankees.com at Dad's, my piddly dialup is looking shoddy. I know, I know, former tech director and geek extraordinaire has slow-ass dialup and can't even get her printer to work. How lame is that. Must get job. Must get (1) Rent benefit tickets, (2) Season tickets for next year and (3) DSL. Priorities.

We are seeing dancing cats in October. I kid you not. They're back.

Don't forget that you can request a free annual credit report once a year from this site.

later on 9/16/05
Hey wow, Tanyon came in the game and didn't hit anyone or give up the winning run. I'm still amazed at how they had an 11-3 lead and wound up winning only 11-10. Still, a win is a win. But what was up with throwing Randy Johnson out of the game? That was weird, even if Johnson DID use the magic word with the umpire. And no, the magic word isn't "please."

Going to the game on Wed with Michael, Tesse and a friend of hers - can't wait! Two Yankee games will make up for going to Shea and enjoying it.

Two movies I want to see: Proof, based on the play that I love so much, and Everything is Illuminated, based on Jonathan Safran Foer's book that I have but haven't read yet (so many books, so little time) - bonus, it's directed by Liev Schreiber.

Came across this poem by Sara Teasdale in a book that I leafed through at Dad's. It struck a nerve.

With the man I love who loves me not,
I walked in the street-lamps' flare;
We watched the world go home that night
In a flood through Union Square.

I leaned to catch the words he said
That were light as a snowflake falling;
Ah well that he never leaned to hear
The words my heart was calling.

And on we walked and on we walked
Past the fiery lights of the picture shows --
Where the girls with thirsty eyes go by
On the errand each man knows.

And on we walked and on we walked,
At the door at last we said good-bye;
I knew by his smile he had not heard
My heart's unuttered cry.

With the man I love who loves me not
I walked in the street-lamps' flare --
But oh, the girls who can ask for love
In the lights of Union Square.

Funk begone! Jeez! If that's what struck a nerve, then I know what my problem is. It's the solving of it that confounds me.

9/16/05
I am in a grand funk.

NJ Transit went and changed their train schedule on me. So last night I came in and saw a show with Michael, and then we went to Marie's. Left in time to catch the 1.37 train, only to arrive at Penn and find out that the last train is now at 12.51. What time did I get there? 12.52, obviously. Crashed at Dad's, woke up at noon, still here.

At least the Yankees swept Tampa Bay, FINALLY.

Job search slow and plodding. Frustrating. Love life so-so. Bills unpaid.

9/14/05
I think I'm going to take a little break from writing for now.

I'm just in a funk. No job, no money, and it just feels like it isn't going to get any better. I mean, deep down I know that I will get a job, pay off my bills and move on, but right now I'm pondering the downside. It's just depressing. And I can't be all excited about dating right now (even tho I've been out with someone I really like) because I know who I want to be with in the long term, and he's unavailable right now. So what good is dating in the short term? And yeah, he's the only person I'd wait for. Cryptic, huh. And there's that buzz in the back of my mind that says, "Aw, heck, things wouldn't work out anyway, they didn't before" and when they don't, then I'll be back where I started. Me and the cats. Anyway, just adds to the feeling that I don't want to be writing or doing much of anything right now.

There has to be a good side to all this, right? Somewhere?

Funk funk funk.

9/13/05
I stayed at Kevin's (completely empty) apartment, and brought home some furniture that he couldn't fit into the moving van. I'm telling you, I can decorate an entire house with the furniture I have up in the attic.

Job interview tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

17-3 over Tampa Bay, that feels good.

9/12/05
Can you believe I'd never seen Bull Durham? I watched it last night, and between that and Field of Dreams, I'm starting to find the late 80's Kevin Costner mighty attractive. Still doesn't explain Waterworld tho.

Michael Brown out of FEMA. Good to know he can act quickly when it's important. They asked Bush on the news if he had heard the news, and his reply was, "No, I haven't talked to [him] yet, I'm down here working. And when I say I'm working, I mean I'm thanking people." Keep up the good "work."

My friend Kevin is leaving NYC for Roanoke (everyone is leaving), so we're going to grab a drink tonight to celebrate/cry.

9/11/05
My thoughts are with Mark today - his mother passed away last night. And Eve and the baby are coming home today.

I can't believe it's been four years. And life has changed so much since then. I would never have thought that I'd go home and go back to school, that Jen would get married, or that Missy would become flood-ravaged. It's a really different world.

I had a good talk with Jay, who's down in Atlanta and missed terribly up here.

And tomorrow I get started again with the resumes and the finding interviews.

(p.s. 1-0, Yanks, kickass)

9/10/05
Well, the good news is that I had a really nice date tonight. And that Eve and the baby are doing well and should be discharged tomorrow. But the bad news is that Mark's mom is in the ICU at the hospital near their house because she wasn't breathing this morning. So tomorrow is going to be a hospital day in any event.

later on 9/9/05
Well, if Tanyon had to plunk someone and load the bases, I'm glad it was Manny Ramirez. But it didn't matter in the end: Evil Empire: 8, Boston: 4.

Someone (OK, the only Red Sox fan I know) recently asked how I could say that the Sox suck when they won the World Series last year. I explained that it's a little like "pity sex" - where you sleep with someone just to shut up their whining. And then I added the magic trio of "1918, Bucky 'F*cking' Dent and Bill Buckner," which shut him right up.

9/9/05
I'm an aunt! Christopher Bowen Whittaker arrived at 10.01am this morning, and is just as adorable as big brother William. He's 19 inches and 6lbs 15oz. So cute.

And my Tanyon Sturtze jersey arrived today, too. Not as important as the baby, but just as cute. Boston is in town for a three-game series, starting tonight - bring it on.

later on 9/8/05
The only reason I don't mind losing to Tampa Bay is that Tanyon Sturtze used to play for them. And Lou Piniella is pretty damn cool.

But starting tomorrow, the Yankees need to kick some serious Red Sox ass.

Other random news: congested like crazy, sad that Barrymore's and McHale's are closing (we were just at B. last week), enjoying this eucaplyptus-scented aromatherapy bath oil, and excited about tomorrow and baby Christopher's arrival.

9/8/05
Ahem. From now on, you must refer to me as Catherine Skidmore, RN.

And it's a day of good news - Eve is being induced tonight at midnight. So tomorrow I'm off to the hospital!

later on 9/7/05
Well, half of theatre with Steve. No Raul in CCBB means we don't stay past intermission. Good thing the tickets were free. It was really, really boring. So we went to dinner instead of the second act, and then I went to Marie's for a bit. Saw Duncan, Michael, Kevin (who just got back from a summer theatre gig and is moving to Roanoke of all places next week) and my friend Ryan, and it was good to catch up with them. Sometimes I really miss living in the city.

But it's also a pleasure to be able to drive home, top down, stars in the sky, and be happy.

And speaking of happy, take that, Tampa Bay! My boy Tanyon got the win tonight. I am happy indeed. But Leiter to the bullpen? Well, Al, it's better than Columbus.

9/7/05
I'm absolutely sure that I failed the test.

I'll know tomorrow.

But my Yankees tickets came in the mail today. And I have theatre with Steve tonight. And a date on Saturday. So that's all good.

And I know - so not funny, but it really is: God Outdoes Terrorists Yet Again.

9/5/05
Thanks to the combined brainpower that sassy girls have, Liz has saved herself from a potential bad relationship. Men can be such idiots, I'm glad she's out of that situation.

This week is state boards. Fingers crossed. And then I need to get a damn job. I'm starting to get bored here (and with the end of the baseball season upon us, things could get really boring really fast).

Ooh. I can get a customized Yankees jersey with Tanyon Sturtze's name and number on it from mlb.com. I bet THAT's a rare item. I think it can be here by the time I go to the stadium. You can have them made with your name, too, but I think this is way cooler.

And it's on sale. Why is that not surprising?

Off to AC to enjoy our free hotel room and (finally) take the boards.

9/4/05
Well, I guess Al Leiter will be asking Aaron Small about the hot spots in Columbus.

later on 9/3/05
Oh dear. I am in desperate need of a Yankees win. I caught the highights (if that's the right word to use) of last night's game, and I want to cry.

9/3/05
Exeunt, pursued by a bear.

For some reason, that line just reduced me, Liz and Missy to giggles all last night. We started out uptown, checking out a bar that Missy had heard good things about from her coworkers. After five minutes inside (and no service!), Liz and I decided to never, ever let Missy pick a bar again. Time spent looking for a parking place: 20 mniutes. Time spent inside the bar: 5 minutes.

Next stop: the Abbey Pub, one of my favorites when I lived uptown. They have cider in bottles and it's a nice hangout. Unfortunately, it's really turned into a college hangout, and we are getting too old for that. Time spent looking for a parking space: 10 minutes. Time spent inside the bar: 20 minutes, one drink.

So, Missy and I struck out with our choices, leaving Liz to win by default as we headed to O'Lunney's for some Irish cuteness and cider on tap. It's like home there, with live music and sometimes some eye candy. Time spent looking for a parking space: 0 minutes, as we put it in a garage. Time spent inside the bar: several hysterical hours.

One last stop with the girls, a bar where an ex of Liz's works. Well, all I can say is that they let us smoke inside (shh) and the bartender bought our drinks for us. Exeunt, pursued by a bartender.

I drove the girls home, and discovered via a text message that my former coworker and friend Brian (who I hired completely based on his looks, because you need to have a hot IT guy at your company, trust me you do) was back in the city, so we decided to grab a drink down by him, in the east village. Man, I haven't hung out there in years - we went to this place on 11th St, with your typical pink-haired, black-wearing, gaunt-looking denizens. Stayed for a drink (diet coke, I have to drive, you know), and then, after an unexpected yawn, the evening caught up with me and I decided to head home. Made vague plans to catch a movie or something with Brian (but, cute as he is, he is from Boston, and roots for the Red Sox, and therefore will come to no good), and headed back to NJ.

When I got back to Matawan, the gas tank surprisingly on "E", my gas station on the corner waved me off - no gas! That's not cool. If you're going to charge over $3.00 a gallon, at least have gas to sell.

9/2/05
I love this country. President Bush flies to NO to look at the devastation, and spends twenty minutes being briefed on-air, and then congratulating the governors and patting himself on the back. Guess he was too busy deploying the national guard overseas to be briefed on the plane. Where's Giuliani when you need him? Things are just a mess down there and I feel so badly for the people who are stuck in the Superdome/Astrodome/Convention Center etc.

The Monmouth County SPCA is accepting donations for the pets left behind by the hurricane. They're also looking for people to foster animals that are being rescued and brought up here. I was just down there to drop off some old towels and sheets, and they're already overcrowded with cats and dogs. Since they're a no-kill shelter, they are always seeking homes for the beautiful animals. Sheeba came from the MCSPCA (her former owner developed severe emphysema). Please help them if you can.

Oh, Tanyon. What's going on?

9/1/05
Typical day at Shea - the Mets lost, there were screaming children behind us, and the fans booed their own. But it was a fantastic day. We got to see David Wright warming up in the outfield before the game, and damn, he looks good. It isn't fair that he's only 22. We had great weather, a nice drive out to Shea and easy parking, and the game was a lot of fun. Even if the Mets lost. Mind you, I am a diehard Yankees fan, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate a good game. Or a sexy third baseman. I said if there's a "next time" I'm at a Mets game, I have to sit in the field level seats, because David Wright and Jose Reyes were signing autographs for a little while between warming up and the National Anthem (sung by Tony winner Shuler Hensley, btw).

This week has been great for New York baseball. The timing is impeccable. Mets games at 7, Yankees (in Seattle) at 10. And today, day game at Shea at 1, Yankees at 4.30. Michael and I were back in the car just in time for the pre-game.

-catherine

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