suck-my-big.org

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10/31/01
And a very happy Halloween to you, too. I was going to go dancing with Jon tonight, but he's feeling sick and has to work tomorrow, and I'm really feeling like I could use a veg-on-the-couch night, so I don't think we're going out. Tonight is Sweeney Todd on PBS (the concert that Mom and I went to) and Game 4, so it's going to be a night of flipping channels during commercial breaks for me.

I should call my physical therapist and told him I was able to outrun someone who didn't understand the words "leave me alone" last night - with no pain whatsoever. I should go run the freakin' marathon after that little sprint.

nearly 3am on 10/30/01
Oh God, I have never been so glad to be home in my life.

To put it in proper narrative format, first things first. Go Yankees!

Proof was, as always, super. The new cast is good - I actually really liked Jennifer Jason Leigh as Catherine, and I thought she and Josh Hamilton had great chemistry. So glad I went to see it again.

After that, I went to O'Lunney's, my favorite Times Square pub, for a drink and to watch the second half of the game (Go Yankees!). And while at O'Lunney's, I made an incredibly stupid lapse in judgement (judgment?) - note to self, never let self get picked up by good-looking guy from Cyprus, no matter how flattering his attentions. I really don't want to go into detail - this is a family site after all - but let's just say that I'm really glad I can run quickly again, and that I will be incredibly attentive from now on, especially when I'm out having a few drinks by myself. I'll just state again that I'm glad to be back in my apartment, and I'm still a bit shaky, Ugh. Bad night.

And I feel like I'm coughing up a lung. Must be anthrax.

Go Yankees!

10/30/01
Have I mentioned lately that I love this weather?

So I went out Jon last night, and despite both of us saying we wanted to make it an early night, it turned out to be a late night. And a very fun one. Let me tell you, the days of dating actors are over (Jon's a lawyer). Anyway, we figured out that we met last Christmas Eve (I don't remember it being Christmas Eve, but I do remember that we went to the Met Museum and I was still in my walking cast, so the timing makes sense), talked about the friends we have in common, conspiracy theory, anthrax, and the fact that I haven't been out dancing in years. So we're going to rectify that tomorrow night, and go to some snazzy Halloween party/dancing thing. I hope I don't need a costume, because I'm really at a loss there.

Seeing Proof again tonight (new cast), and with my luck, I'll walk into a bar afterwards and see that the Yankees are... not winning. I can't believe that I've been out at theatre for games 1 and 2, and they lost both of them. It must be me. And I'll miss game 4 because it's tomorrow, and part of game 5 because Thursday is ER night. 6 and 7 are over the weekend. Bleh.

I'm partway through the second Sarah Caudwell book, The Shortest Way to Hades, which is as funny as the first, so far. I highly recommend her books.

Check it out - Patrick's first story for Wired: Does Official Taliban Site Exist?

And tickets for Harry Potter are on sale! At least they are for the theatre in Union Square. Our tickets are bought!

So I got a flyer in the mail today for this year's Chekhov Now festival - that's the festival that my friend Adam runs. They alway have good productions. Adam directed The Proposal and The Jubilee, which I've seen, and they're very funny. The festival this year is at the Connelly Theatre on East 4th Street, So go if you can! It runs from tomorrow through November 18th. I would have posted about this earlier, but whoever sent the flyer neglected to put my zip code on it, so it was delayed.

This is the coolest thing - The Onion, having moved its offices to New York, is now putting out the print edition in NYC. There are - those plastic things that have newspapers in them, like for the Voice etc - all over the East Village. But of course, I never manage to find them when there are actually copies inside. But someday I will! How cool!

10/29/01
A very uneventful day. I read Thus Was Adonis Murdered, the first of the Sarah Caudwell mysteries that I picked up, and it was hysterically witty. Three more to go!

No word from Eddie yet. And I'm off to the village to meet Jon for drinks.

10/28/01
OK, I am not even going to talk about the ballgame.

So, it was a serendipitous day. I went to the movies and saw Serendipity - which was a very charming chick flick about this couple that meets, and decides to leave it up to fate to see if they'll ever meet again. Which, in the end, they do. Of course. Loved it, and I got all teary during it. So I come out of the movies, and there's voicemail on my phone. I dial up, check it - and it's Eddie Hartman! From Xceed, who I have been half in love with since I met him. I haven't seen Eddie in probably a year and a half, easily, and now he leaves me a voicemail... because he's in New York! For a funeral, but still, he's in New York. And the idiot didn't leave his number in the message, so I have to hope he calls back (and not a call that says "hi, I'm on the way back to LA").

How cool!

Russian State Symphony tonight, mangling the Prokofiev Third Piano Concerto. Sigh. But they did a nice job with the other pieces they played.

And then a quick stop at O'Neal's bar for a drink and the end of the game that I am not talking about.

And I'm feeling stuffy and neck-achy. I think it's a cold. Or anthrax.

later on 10/27/01
The clocks are set back an hour, so that should tell you how late it is.

Noises Off was super. I had only read it on paper before, never seen it onstage, so I just have to say how wonderfully hysterically funny it was to see it. Very fun!

OK, I have the hiccups. Really badly.

Anyway. I went over to Joe Allen after the show, to catch the end of the Yankees game. I had called Dad at intermission to see what the score was, and the Yankees were down 3-1. Ugh! So I got to the bar, got a drink, and they were down 9-1. Now please! Explain to me how the Diamondbacks - who I have never heard of - gained that many runs! I ended up talking with the guys next to me for the rest of the game (it was the 7th inning when I showed up), and they were pretty cool. But how could we lose?? They'd better win tomorrow.

I love Joe Allen, tho. Bruce Kimmel and I always go there when he's in NYC. So I'm sitting there, drinking my Cabernet, and Ed Norton and Salma Hayek walk in. Now I love Ed Norton. Love. So, this being me, I don't do anything. I drink my wine, talk to Jerry and Bob about the game, and ignore him. And then Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick come in. So I ask for their autographs, and they obliged. And then (now this is two drinks in) I decided to go find where Ed Norton was sitting, so I did, and I asked for his autograph, and he said it was a bad time, but to grab him on the way out. So I went back to the bar and had another drink. And when Ed was leaving, I asked him for his autograph, and then he asked me for my name and signed my notebook (glad I had it with me). Wow. Very happy. There goes another thing off of my "to do" list.

OK, tired and lots of wine... must sleep. Hope no ghosts show up tonight.

And I love that we set the clocks back.

And I am so tipsy. I hate that feeling when you have to get from the bar to the subway to the apartment... when I'm so tired that the entire trip is a blur.

And I am listening to Dave Matthews, and it's good.

10/27/01
OK, so I am not the least bit superstitious. I don't believe in ghosts, or psychics, or horoscopes. But something happened this morning that freaked me out - and I'm still shaky about it.

I went to bed around 2am, and got up at 8.30 to take a shower, I was meeting Steve at 10am at the law firm. He called around 9.10 to tell me to come in at 11.30 instead, since the people we were helping weren't coming in until then (they didn't show up until 3pm, but that's another story). So I said, "fine, I'm going back to bed for an hour then." And I reset my alarm clock, and crawled into bed, fully clothed. I dozed on and off, and turned off my alarm at 10.55, just before it was going to go off. And I closed my eyes and just rested there for another ten minutes or so. And then had the feeling that Jen or Missy had come down the stairs into my room, which I thought was odd. It was that feeling that someone else is really close to you. So I opened my eyes a bit but there was no one there. Closed them, and a minute later had the same sensation. And then I felt something on my bed - like a child was jumping up and down, or like the cat was walking across the bed, near my left side. And I heard a voice say, quietly, like a child's, "don't lay there, that's my side of the bed," and then giggled. I thought that it was the kids upstairs, but then thought, "well, why is the bed jiggling like someone's moving on it?" So I opened my eyes, and nothing. No one there. But there was. And it freaked me out really badly. So I got up, put on the light, and since Missy was up, told her what had just happened.

I really have no idea what it was, if there was - something - there in my room with me, or if the Trazodone is making me hallucinate, but to have that feeling, and to feel the bed move and hear a voice whispering... that was really weird.

So I went to the law firm, told Steve (who DOES believe in all that hoo-ha). We spent the day cleaning out his office and helping some new tenants in their space get their machines set up. The tech consultant for the new folks, Ray, was impressed with my ability to put a machine together in 2 minutes flat, and asked me to email him my resume, which I'll do tonight.

So, freaky day.

And they make "Diet Coke with Lemon" now! Love it!

Off to see Noises Off now - and then as soon as it's over I'm ducking into the nearest bar to see how the Yankees are doing. And drinking enough to make me pass out so even if things are wandering into my room during the night, I won't be coherent enough to feel them.

10/26/01
Don't forget to set clocks back tomorrow night. Get that extra hour of sleep!

I'm having an "I Feel Pretty" day - good hair day. I went to the Seaport Watch Company to have a new battery put in my other watch (I wore it for a week without noticing that the battery was dead), and the guy didn't charge me. I took out my wallet and he just smiled and waved me off. How nice! Must be the good hair!

I received my college and high school transcripts in the mail today. I like the high school one better, just because I was ranked 19th or 20th (out of a class averaging 255) every year, with a 3.3 GPA senior year, national honor society and all that. At Montclair... well, I got an A in Yoga. Actually, most of my classes there were good - I aced all of the theatre classes, got a B+ in Spoken French, Italian Art, 20th Century Civ Honors (I was in the honors program) and Psych 101 (transfer those credits, baby!). However, I got a D in Honors Great Books I. Now there's a class I can't even remember - I think because it was at 8am and I didn't actually GO to it very often. I came back with a B+ in Honors Great Books II tho in the following semester. Whoops. Anyway, overall average of 2.8. But that A in Yoga means a lot to me.

Oh, and 1240 on the SAT's, which I had forgotten about, with a perfect score on that additional tet of standard and written English, or whatever they called it. Geek alert!

When I was at Mom's, I stepped on the scale and discovered that I've lost two pounds since the last time I was there. But I feel like I'm eating more. Must be anthrax.

Oh, and Pixel is ten pounds and Mimi is seven and a half.

Yankees defeat Taliban, news at 11.

slightly later on 10/25/01
Well, no Metamorphoses for us tonight - they were all sold out, and by the time they got to me and Trisha on the cancellation line, they only had a single ticket, so we passed it. There was this guy who was the spitting image of Steve Sondheim there, too, and we debated for ten minutes if we should go outside and ask him if that's who it was - one of the things on my to-do list is to meet him and show him my Seurat tattoo. But it wasn't him (we didn't ask, but we figured Sondheim was taller, and the box office guy said he thought the same thing!).

Off to watch ER!

And to read the reviews of Thou Shalt Not, which are the funniest things I've read in a long time. At least Norbert's getting the recognition he deserves.

So I learned today that Derek Jeter is scared of dogs (like me) and dislikes cats (drat). I wrote a letter to Mayor Giuliani, that says something like: "you're doing a great job, I love the Yankees (tho it isn't hard to be a Yankees fan these days), I live downtown, while meeting Derek Jeter won't make the air smell better or cure my insomnia, it sure would make this New Yorker happy, could you pull some strings, keep up the good work, and go Yankees!" I'm sure it will receive a happy response. Right.

Blimpie's (or Subway, I always forget which it is, the one down the block) has this great new tomato (I think)/herb bread, it's very good. I had a big ol' turkey sandwich yesterday (a day that I did not see Derek Jeter on, which makes sense because he wasn't at that pep rally thing, so I'm glad I didn't go back up there).

Only two more weeks (or so) until baseball fever passes me by.

10/25/01
Dad, Ann and I went to Delmonico's for dinner last night - very good food, and part of the Wall Street Wednesdays thing where they're doing prix fixe dinners at a few restaurants downtown for $20.01. Yum. We used to live above Delmonico's, but it was closed for renovation then, so this was the first time I had ever been inside. Very swanky.

And then I hopped the train to NJ (as I had thought about doing on Tuesday night) to commune with the cats, who I missed dearly. I went with Mom to the hospital for a few hours to see what nurses really do (they all talk about how great a nurse my mom is, apparently). Lots of shit-shoveling, which I can do without, but otherwise nothing I can't deal with. I stayed until 2.30am or so, and then went home to sleep with Mimi and Pixel. I guess I'll bring them home in a few days, I just feel bad that we can't keep the windows open as much as I'd like to air this place out, and I can't let them out on the deck.

Off to Seth's Chatterbox tonight, and then attempting student rush for Metamorphoses.

10/24/01
So I walked over to BMCC to get more info on their nursing program (and the prerequisites, etc), and walked home past Ground Zero (or as close as you can get). There was this huge thing going on at City Hall, lots of screaming and cheering. So I turn on NY1, and it turns out it's some pep rally for the Yankees. Man, I was *this* close to Derek Jeter, and I missed him. So close.

later on 10/23/01
It's funny, the things you think about as you're waiting for the bus.

I guess I should tell this in proper suck-my-big.org narrative format...

I finished reading Word Freak, the Scrabble book, and it was really engrossing. But as I mentioned earlier, there was a bit in it that mentioned Anil, so I thought I should go up to his studio and say hey, make an appt to touch up my arm, and show him the book. So I took the bus up to the village and did all of those things. I hadn't been up there in a few months, so it was a nice trip. Anil is super, I missed talking to him. We made plans to do the touchup work in mid-November.

So after chatting with him, I wasn't really in the mood to come right home. I called Jonathan, but he was in CT. I called Jesse, but he was working a theatre benefit. So with no one to grab a drink with, I decided to hit my favorite East Village bar, the Thirsty Scholar (love that name) on 2nd and 9th. I had started reading Therese Raquin - the book that Thou Shalt Not is based on - on the bus ride uptown, and wanted to finish it. So I went to the bar and had two or three glasses of wine while I read the book. In between chapters, I chatted with the bartender (bartendress?) and with two cute guys next to me. In the middle of reading, this guy walked in who reminded me of Kati's fiance, Bill, and that reminded me that Eve's one-year wedding anniversary was last week (funny how my memeory works). So I put the book down on the bar and called Eve on my cellfone to wish her a belated "happy anniversary" and see how married life was. We had a crappy connection tho, so she told me to call her back tomorrow evening.

Anyway, so I was waiting for the bus. Missed the kitties and thought for a few minutes about hopping the 11.32pm train to NJ to see them, but I decided to come home to the apartment instead. Since Therese Raquin is about an adulterous relationship, I couldn't help but think about the guy I sometimes see, since that could be termed "adulterous," what with him having a girlfriend and all. That's a relationship that I value, because he's a good friend, but it's not something I ever want to take for granted. So I thought about that while waiting for the bus. And then I thought about the guy that I have a big crush on, who doesn't realize it. And then I thought about my friend Steve, who I'm afraid I was a bit testy with on the phone - the guy that HE has a crush on is leaving town for a while, and I told Steve that I didn't want to hear him whining about it for a month, and I think that came off rudely on the phone. Anyway, so it was a strange night of thinking about odd relationships, all as I waited for the bus.

And I miss my cats.

10/23/01
Man, that Trazodone is giving me the strangest dreams. I should really write them down, but I never remember to. But happily, once I fall asleep, that stuff keeps me there until I wake up in the actual morning. Since I've started taking it, I haven't been waking up in the middle of the night (which is not related to the WTC thing, I've woken up at 3 or 4am for as long as I can remember). And that's a big plus.

The job bank was online today, so I went down and searched their database - well, you have to sit with one of their counselors who surfs for you (to prevent ppl from writing down all the contact info and passing it to friends, they said), and I found three jobs to apply for, so they're faxing over my resume for me.

Took the subway up to midtown (and I sat next to Roger Bart on the train, but couldn't think of anything to say that would be appropriate, but he looked really good, yum) and went to the CUNY admissions office. I'm giving this job hunt thing until January, which will be nearly a year of unemployment. If I haven't found a job by then, I'm going to apply to a two-year nursing program at CUNY. Bet you thought I was kidding about that. I sent over the transcript request form to Montclair (and a whopping $3 check) to see how many credits I actually have from them, and how many are transferrable. I called Matawan Regional, too, to have them send a copy of my HS transcript as well, in case I need that. Anyway, I have until January to figure it out (the deadline for the fall application is March 1, I just missed the deadline for the spring semester, which was October 1).

And that's it for my exciting day so far!

later on 10/22/01
I know it really isn't a challenge to be a Yankees fan, but I'm a proud one tonight - going to the World Series for the fourth straight year! How cool! After the game, I immediately called Peter and told him to move home, so he can root for a winning team ;-)

And just so you know, my second lifelong goal (the first is to be on Jeopardy!) is to meet Derek Jeter. I should write a letter to Giuliani and ask him to introduce me.

10/22/01
I went down to the job fair place on Water Street this morning, but their system is still down. I have to go out again later to the post office, so I'll stop by again and see if it's up yet. I'd really like to get in there and spend some time searching their database.

I also bugsprayed the entire house (the only fumigating things they had were for roaches, they only had sprays for flying things, so I bought spray). And I vacuumed my room (which involves picking everything up off the floor and putting it on the bed, because otherwise there's no floor to actually vacuum, it's so packed) and did the dishes and went to the drugstore and well, that's about it.

Now there's nothing to do but wait for the Yankees to kick Seattle's ass back to the west coast tonight ;-)

Oh and I need to not-date actors. Or people whose name starts with "J" - I think there's a bad trend in there. I haven't heard from Joel B. since before I went to KY. I called on Wednesday and left a voicemail (re: going out, and also re: redoing the interview for Bruce for The First Nudie Musical), but he hasn't returned my call. It's a good thing I've developed infinite patience. Or infinite indifference.

10/21/01
Well, there's no need to mention the clobbering that the Yankees took last night, since they came back tonight to win again - leading the ALCS 3-1. Let's hope they win tomorrow and go to the Series again! If so, they'll be playing the Diamondbacks, a team I have never heard of.

There are these little flying gnats in our apartment. Tomorrow I bug-bomb the joint.

It was an absolutely beautiful day today. I love fall.

10/20/01
So, ignore my link to Fynsworth Alley from yesterday - the investors have fired Bruce and David, and things are a mess over there. Don't place any orders with FA, it's likely that they will not be fulfilled. Jeez. I feel so bad for Bruce, he's hired me to assist on a few sessions in NYC, and is really a nice guy to boot.

Tired - long day of two shows. 45 Seconds was terrific! It's set in the Cafe Edison, where we go all the time because it's cheap and fast, and they really recreated it on stage! How very cool! And the play is funny, too.

My friend Erin, who's stage managing the Rockettes show in Branson left me a rambling voice mail extolling the virtues of her 2-bedroom condo that they're putting her up in there. It sounds fabulous, but I had to chastise her and remind her that it's Branson.

10/19/01
By Jeeves was an incredibly cute show! Maybe not a full-price show, but with the discount code, it was totally enjoyable. Steve and I have having a theatre weekend - tomorrow is Urinetown and 45 Seconds From Broadway - the new Neil Simon play.

So I had subway trauma today. Went to meet Steve at his office, which is normally a 15-minute trip on the 4/5. So I walk down to the station, and wait for the train. And wait and wait and wait. Fifteen minutes later, the train comes, and it's packed. So I squeeze on, along with 5,000 other people, and we wait. The doors don't close. I'm playing Bejeweled on my Pilot (so addictive!) so I don't notice that another ten minutes has passed. Anyway, ten minutes passed. And then people start getting off the train. They apparently made an announcement that the train was not going to be in service. Groan. Everyone gets off and back on the platform. And they made another announcement that NO 4/5 trains were going to be running uptown. So I hike over to the A/C (bad move, should've gone for the 2/3) and took that (crowded) to Times Square. And then hiked to the 7 train and took that crosstown to Grand Central. So what should have taken 15 minutes took an hour and ten minutes. What a pain!

And I have to say, the grossest part of last night's ER was Dr. Benton using his hands to crack someone's chest in lieu of a rib spreader. Iiiiieeew.

Oh and I fixed my camcorder focus problem, tho I still don't know what caused it. I just reset all of the settings and re-did them.

I've been playing the Guy Haines album from Fynsworth Alley all day. It's super, and Guy is a terrific singer, and a hell of a nice guy. He takes me to Joe Allen when he's in NY.

later on 10/18/01
Well, TSN didn't get any better, but James Galla liked it. I would smack him, but he's just so darn cute.

I went to the job center today on Water Street, signed up, handed over my resume, and I'm going to go back tomorrow to search their online job bank. They said they have thousands of jobs in there, the ones from the job fair included, so that's pretty cool. I would have stuck around today to search, but I had to meet my friend Heather (who was waiting outside the building when I got back!) and their internet connection was down.

I'm having some weird focus problems with my camcorder. Must investigate.

Go Yankees! Again! Kim and I caught part of the game at Barrymore's after the show, but I just checked yankees.com and saw that they won again. Whee!

And in other news, I'm still breaking in my new Sketchers. I wore them all day today, with not too many blisters. And I'm having a bad joints day. I had to wear my knee brace thing under my pants because my right knee feels like I've whacked the bone somehow, and my left (surgery) heel is bugging me now, too, but I think that's because of the new shoes. Sneakers tomorrow.

And I wonder... since the government is now treating all false anthrax threats as terrorist acts, what will they do with the Hand of God (or whatever they are) people who're threatening abortion clinics with anthrax scares? I really hope the government is going to follow through and put those people behind bars where they belong. Not to get into a big debate about it, but how can any pro-life group condone the killing of mothers, doctors and nurses? Jesus.

10/18/01
So you know how the Marines (or whoever) do more before 6am than most people do all day? Well, today I'm having a day where I do more before noon than I usually do all week. It's kind of the same. I went grocery shopping, picked up my film from the KY trip, called our landlord (who has no record of the fax we sent re: rent reduction), made Kool-Aid, updated my wishlist, and... I'm sure there was more. And now, to continue the streak of getting things done, I'm about to eat lunch, go to the post office, go to 180 Water Street (the Twin Towers Job thing HQ) with my resume, go to Dad's to re-fax the letter to our landlord, stop at the travel agent to see about cheap fares to Seattle for April, and figure out what else I could do with the Northwest travel voucher. I thought about going to Edinburgh in January (the WDTW tour is there, and I've never been) and then maybe going around Europe for a bit, but with the job market being so sucky, I don't want to spend that much money right now when I have no guarantee of replacing it. And besides, Jen and Missy and I had talked about going to London in May to see Jude Law in Doktor Faustus.

But then again, if I don't go to Europe now, when else am I going to get that much free time? I guess part of it is also that I don't really want to tromp around in the wintertime, that's not much fun, and no matter how cheaply I travel, it's always more fun with someone else.

It's been amazing tho - my bank account balance has remained pretty much the same since February, what with all of the under-the-table work I've been doing.

Anyway, it's noon now, so I'm off to do the rest of the things on my to-do list.

Tonight I'm meeting Seth Rudetsky to pick up a tape he has for me, then meeting Kim for dinner and a train wreck of a show (since Mom bailed on seeing Thou Shalt Not again). This is really teaching me a lesson about buying tickets for shows I think might be good - the same thing happened with Parade and Marie Christine. Maybe it's just a lesson about seeing shows at Lincoln Center Theatre. Jeez.

10/17/01
So they're having this huge job fair at MSG today, and I went up with many copies of my resume in hand. So I got there around 11.30am, and the line was wrapped around the Garden and down Seventh Ave. Cops were telling people not to even bother going in, since it was already packed inside, and there was no way that all of the people outside were even going to get in. They said they're doing another job fair in two weeks. So I'll go back then.

Going to veg on the couch and watch the Yankees kick Seattle's ass today. And then the History Channel is doing a thing on the building of the WTC tonight, which should be a lot of fun (and slightly more interesting than the thing about hand tools that was on last night).

Small world moment! In the book I'm reading (Word Freak, about Scrabble), one of the players that the author talks about is Richie, a regular at Anil's. The author started talking about Richie's tattoos and I immediately knew who it was. And now they're talking about meeting up at Anil's studio on 5th Street. How fun! It's on page 225 or so, in case you're reading it or just stopping by the bookstore.

It seems that not only do I attract actors (insert "they all come here!" ala Nathan Lane), but I seem to only attract the ones who don't call back.

10/16/01
Yay Yankees! Go Derek! Go Tino! Now that they're playing the Mariners (again), Peter and I can argue about it ;-)

Love the Trazodone, but just like someone emailed me, it does cause weird dreams. But at least it's restful sleep and weird dreams.

My hands are incredibly itchy this morning. Must be anthrax.

later on 10/15/01, maybe 1am?
Very fun night in Williamsburg (which isn't as far from Manhattan as I thought) at the benefit thing. Jim's friends are all very cool, and he asked me for my email/number and suggested that we get a drink (or hang out in an airport again) sometime. He's very funny, and I really had a good time. It's so weird how you meet people. He introduced me as "the chick I picked up at the airport," to which I made up some outlandish reply and we just kept changing details and adding onto it, and it was very amusing.

Somewhere along the way home, I must've leaned against something that should have had a "wet paint" sign on it, because I looked down at my hand when I was on the subway and it was pinkish red on my fingertips. I thought it might be blood, but I couldn't remember cutting myself. And then I saw a splotch on my bag as well, and the cuff of my jacket and I realized that it was paint. I wiped off my bag and jacket as best I could, and washed the rest of it off when I got home.

Oh, and when I was talking with one of Jim's friends, I wondered aloud why I attract actors, is it pheromones or something? And he said that maybe it's because I'm an attractive person. And I boggled at that, because I don't always think I am. Anyway, it made me feel good.

OK, bed, I popped a Trazodone, which will hopefully knock me out - they make me sleep through the night instead of getting up at 5am, which is lovely.

10/15/01
And I'm home, finally!

So I'm not sure if my overall weekend fits into a category - like happy, weird, small-world-ish or just plain rainy. So I'll try and recall chronologically what I did, and see if I can peg it.

I left on Thursday afternoon, and made it to LGA with plenty of time. I had the safest lunch at Burger King there that I've ever had, as there were two heavily armed National Guardsmen right there. Machine guns and all (weird). Lots of security checks to get on the plane, including showing picture ID at three different points. The flights out there were pretty uneventful otherwise, I was fine once we were in the air. Landed, got my rental car, and took off down towards Louisville, about a 90 minute drive (rainy).

I got slightly lost on the way to Shannon's, but that's because it was dark, her directions were excellent. She wasn't home from class yet when I got there around 8.20pm, but I hung out with her husband Salah, and the NEW BABY, Tayma, who is adorable (happy happy)! I didn't have to worry about watching ER because Shannon is also an avid viewer (happy). And that was Thursday night.

Friday, Shannon and I went consignment-store shopping (and I picked up a nice skirt), and she gave me directions to "downtown" before her class (Shannon, btw, is amazing. She has a three-month old baby and is in law school, she's fabulous). So I drove downtown to Main Street, picked up the Floyd Collins tickets that they were holding for me, and went walking. I went to the Louisville Slugger Museum/Factory to see how they make baseball bats. The entire southeast (I dunno, wherever in the country I was) is very sports-oriented, scary (weird). Anyway, the baseball bat thing was very cool, I had a blast. Speaking of Blast, the show is going to be in Louisville at the end of the month. I pointed out the cute drummer to Shannon on the poster (happy, small-world-ish).

I got so lost on the way back to the house. So lost. Luckily Shannon had given me a map of Louisville!

So we grabbed dinner at an Italian place (Louisville has more restaurants per capita(?) than anywhere else, I learned), and then went to Floyd (rainy). And it was a good production - great sets and (mostly) well-sung (happy). I was a little tired for it, so it seemed to drag in parts, but overall I enjoyed it. Shannon went home (first time leaving Tayma with a sitter for that long) and I went backstage to find Deb, a friend of my friend Erin's (small-world-ish). She gave me the quickie tour backstage and introduced me to Ron Bohmer, who played Floyd and is a friend of James' (small-world-ish). We talked for a bit, and Deb told me to meet her in the bar next door.

So I go to the bar, grab a drink, and sit down with Ron to have a cigarette. And I look up, and there's Jeff E. (weird, small-world-ish). He was in the show (which I knew before I went down there), but I really did not want to see him or talk to him. Very uncomfortable feeling (weird). Anyway, Jeff came over, and - miracle of miracles - we smoothed over our differences and talked for about an hour (weird). Well, he's got more to gain from our having settled things than I do, but as Trisha puts it, the world is hard enough without making things more difficult. Well, paraphrasing Trisha. Anyway, it was uncomfortable, but not unbearably so (weird), and he invited me to join him and some friends the next night for drinks after the show (I saw it Fri and Sat nights), and drove me to my car after drinks.

Drove back to Shannon's (after two drinks in two hours, a little woozy but not unbearably so) (rainy) and fell asleep immediately

Saturday (rainy). I drove down to Mammoth Cave (I had never been a cave), about an hour and a half south of Louisville. Absolutely beautiful national park. I took a two-hour cave tour, and immediately wanted to stay and do more, but time was running out. The tour guide was super - I asked a question about the real Floyd Collins, and he asked me how I knew about Floyd. So I said, "Well, because I'm smart." And then he asked how I really knew, and I told him that I was a theatre person and had gotten interested in the story after seeing a production several years ago. The guide (Bob Cetera, in case anyone else goes down there) then told me that he was a former theatre teacher and actor from Chicago, and also loved Floyd Collins - the musical! We really hit it off and talked more after the tour (small-world-ish, rainy, happy). He pointed me towards the actual Sand Cave, which is about 1/10 of a mile down a hill off the main road. I parked the car and walked down the hill to the entrance (rainy), and saw where they had sunk the rescue shaft. I couldn't find the entrance hold to the cave tho, it was too damp and dark and I didn't have a flashlight.

Drive drive drive back to Louisville (rainy) - and made it in record time, probably because I drove 90 mph the entire way back. Shannon's husband, Salah, owns an Iraqi restaurant in Louisville (Babylon, in case anyone is going), so we drove there for dinner (so so good). Everyone there loves Tayma, and it's easy to see why, she's so well-behaved and adorable, and dare I say it, the most beautiful baby in the world (happy).

Sat night was Floyd Collins again, and I liked the show even better the second time. Went to meet Deb again backstage, but she was exhausted and had to drive someone home, so she passed on getting a drink. I went down to the bar and Jeff did indeed invite me to join him and his friends from Nashville (weird). But they were super, and I hit it off with Kristi and Necie, we stayed long after the guys left and just had a blast (happy). Around 2am we left and I drove back to the house (rainy) and got lost again getting out of downtown for some reason. Anyway, made it back and fell asleep again.

Sunday - woke up, packed, drove to Cincinnati. I got there early, so I drove around the city (there was a Bengals game on, the crowds of people in the streets reminded me of when Jen and I were in Ireland and the "hurling" championship was on), very crowded. I went to the Museum Center to kill an hour or so at the Natural History Museum, and then drove around some more. I met my friends Scott and Janet (who I last saw in Chicago in June) for lunch at Applebee's near the airport, and we had a really good time, it was great to see them again (happy, surprisingly not-rainy). I drove to the airport after that, returned the rental car, and checked in. Very early. I had lots of time to kill, so I read the Floyd Collins book that I had picked up at Mammoth Cave, and played a lot of Bejeweled on my Pilot. Until the batteries died, that is ;-)

The first part of the trip, the flight to Detroit, freaked me out for some reason (rainy?), and it was a white-knuckle flight for me. Usually I'm much calmer, I really do enjoy flying. While I was waiting for the NY flight in Detroit, they announced that it was overbooked, and they were offering $400 travel vouchers for people who wanted to give up their seats and take the next flight... which wasn't until the next morning (today). I jumped on that line immediately - heck, $400 is nearly two round trip tickets somewhere! While we were waiting to find out if we were actually going to be bumped, the guy sitting next to me asked about the Floyd Collins book I was reading (small-world-ish), so we talked for a bit. He had also seen two other productions of it (but not in Louisville), and it turns out he's an actor (why do I attract them? What is it?), his name is Jim, and he just finished up doing Inherit the Wind in Lansing, MI. We both ended up being bumped to the 8.25am flight this morning, so we hung out in the hotel bar with two Northwest pilots and another "distressed" passenger. That's their term, I hadn't seen a less-distressed group in a while (happy)! The only bad thing about the bump was that we couldn't get our bags off the flight, so I'm glad I had my toothbrush in my bag. So this morning, I met up with Jim at the airport check-in (much longer lines, glad we got there early), and we talked and read the paper until boarding. Very nice to meet someone to hang out with, it made the evening in Detroit less painful than it could have been (happy). So he invited me out to a benefit he's arranging tonight at Galapagos in Williamsburg (I kind of know where it is), and I'll see how tired I am when 8pm rolls around.

So anyway, took the early flight, caught the bus, took the subway, and now I'm home (happy, weird, not-rainy). I would have to count up the adjectives to figure out what I thought of the entire trip, but I think it was happy with a dash of weird. Conflicted about the Jeff-being-friendly thing, glad I met a lot of outgoing people, so glad to see Shannon and meet the baby, and heck, I have $400 in travel vouchers to spend.

Oh and my unemployment ran out last week. Drat.

CNN just said that they found anthrax (the disease, not the heavy metal band) on Northwest flights to Cleveland and Detroit. That would have been my flight yesterday. Yikes.

And the stench of burning metal is really bad today.

And go Yankees!

10/11/01
Another binary date.

So yesterday was the four-week anniversary, today is the one-month. Calendaring systems are not my strongest suit.

And I'm off to eat, vote (democratic primary today), drop off a blank tape at Dad's so he can tape ER for me (tho I may be in Louisville by the time it's on, but that would be a weird imposition - "Hey! Great to see you! Tayma's adorable! Mind if I watch ER?") and then head to the airport. See you all Sunday!

That is, I'm leaving as soon as I sync my Pilot, which crashed two minutes ago. Talk about timing.

10/10/01
A very binary date.

I can't believe that yesterday was the one-month anniverary of the WTC attack. Half of me feels like it was just last week, and the other half knows that so much time has already passed. Very strange times.

Tomorrow I get on a plane. I should get my stuff packed.

10/9/01
Today is the day of calling up doctors for prescriptions. Or rather, of hiking to the drugstore to have them call my doctors. Dr. Stein gave me six months worth of Trazodone, a sleeping pill, which had better help. Insomnia bad.

Today I'm job hunting. And doing laundry. At least one of the two is proving fruitful.

Somewhere along the line, it turned cold. Today is perfect fall weather, but yesterday was freezing. Love it.

And you just know there was something weird about Mulholland Drive, when all I could think of was that the house that the director's wife lived in was the same house from Proof of Life.

10/8/01
Happy Monday!

I called Dr. Stein and had him prescribe a mild sleeping pill thing - but hopefully something stronger than the store brand that I have, so tomorrow I have to have the drugstore call his office to get the prescription and fill it. I have to run to the post office tomorrow, too. I usually go to the one on Church Street, but obviously, it's closed, so I've been going to the one on Peck Slip, which is actually a little closer.

I had a very nice dinner-and-a-movie date with Joel. He's very sweet, and we had a good time. Went to a nice Italian place in Chelsea ("You live in Chelsea, and you're a dancer, and yet you're straight?"), and then went to see the David Lynch movie, Mulholland Drive, which was just confusing and weird. I didn't like it all that much. But the company made it all the more enjoyable. I hope I get to see him again before I head to KY for the weekend, but tomorrow night is Boheme and Wednesday Jen and I are seeing the train wreck that is Thou Shalt Not. Sucks to have gotten all these tickets before it opened, I really had high hopes for it. Ah well.

Someone sent me an incredibly large file via email. I will hurt them. When it finishes downloading so I can tell who it's from, that is.

10/7/01
This attacking Afganistan thing reminds me of when the Gulf War started and I stayed up all night to watch CNN. Missy and I are glued to the TV tonight.

Joel called, and we rescheduled for tomorrow eve - he forgot that he had guests coming to the show today that he had to go out with. My friend Heather is coming over during the day tomorrow to watch videos.

Went to see Metamorphoses at Second Stage with Alison and Matthew, and it was just super - very well directed and well acted show. I really enjoyed it. The same theatre group did The Odessey in Seattle last year, and Mom and Peter saw it and really liked it, too. At dinner after the show, Alison told me she had heard some "rumors and such" about Joel, but I said I hadn't witnessed anything like she had heard, so we chalked it up to just that - rumors - and we'll see how things go. So far, I really like being called daily and going on actual dates! After we ate (Cara Mia, nice Italian place), she and I walked over to 12th Ave to close out her mini-storage space, she doesn't need it anymore. I like hanging out with Alison, I never get to see her enough. But she's one of the classiest and most stylish people I know, and a good friend to boot.

OK, back to CNN.

My friend Peter, of the cable-modem set, took some pictures:

s1n1st4r2: hey i was right by your place today
Catherine62874: oh yah?
s1n1st4r2: but you weren't around
Catherine62874: no, i was uptown today
s1n1st4r2: getting some pics of the site
s1n1st4r2: http://mercurial.cc/nyc.html
Catherine62874: how close did you get?
s1n1st4r2: bway
Catherine62874: yeah
s1n1st4r2: i'm sure you've seen it 
Catherine62874: i was down there yesterday
s1n1st4r2: i wanted to grab that NY times from you
s1n1st4r2: i'm going away wedn.
Catherine62874: i'll be around tomorrow and tues all day
Catherine62874: well, tomorrow til 4 and tues til 3
s1n1st4r2: kool
s1n1st4r2: how goes
Catherine62874: good, tired tho
Catherine62874: make the pix lower res or incur my wrath
s1n1st4r2: make me
Catherine62874: ok, i'm not going to look at them
s1n1st4r2: LOL
s1n1st4r2: they're not for the modem-impaired
Catherine62874: well, i'm sure they're lovely
s1n1st4r2: hahahahahaha
s1n1st4r2: you're a bad person
s1n1st4r2: LOOK AT MY PICTURES
Catherine62874: i have a modem
s1n1st4r2: ok 
s1n1st4r2: well i sympathize
Catherine62874: no you don't
Catherine62874: if you sympathized you'd make them lower res
s1n1st4r2: LOL
s1n1st4r2: well, how about I read you a story instead?
Catherine62874: go for it
s1n1st4r2: once there was a guy with a digital camera
s1n1st4r2: then some terrorists blew up part of his home town
s1n1st4r2: now, he wanted to document this for all to see
Catherine62874: but he had no sympathy for the modem-impaired
s1n1st4r2: but his digital camera only worked with pc's
s1n1st4r2: for which he had few editing tools
s1n1st4r2: and he had little regard for the modem-impaired, being a cable/dsl elitist and extremely impatient
s1n1st4r2: so
Catherine62874: right
s1n1st4r2: he put a disclaimer on his web site
s1n1st4r2: to that effect
s1n1st4r2: and begged the deity for forgiveness
Catherine62874: but the diety had a modem
s1n1st4r2: LOL!!
Catherine62874: and couldn't see the plea_for_forgiveness.jpg
s1n1st4r2: hahahahahahahahhaha
s1n1st4r2: LOL
s1n1st4r2: and so the deity struck down the guy in a blast of lightning and brimstone
s1n1st4r2: The End
Catherine62874: that's lovely

10/6/01
I just could not fall asleep last night, I was up until 4am or so. So I was not too awake when Mom came by at 11am this morning. We walked down around lower Manhattan, as close to Ground Zero as you can get, in the rain. Then went up to Union Square, got lunch, went to the bookstore, and then up to midtown to see Urinetown - always funny.

Thou Shalt Not last night was as tragically bad as ever, but they have made some changes to it, some of which worked and some of which... didn't.

I love when guys say they'll call, and they actually do! I wasn't expecting to hear from Joel until early next week, but he left me a voicemail yesterday, and I left one in return today. Mmm, phone tag. We finally caught up with each other and made plans to get dinner after the show tomorrow afternoon.

Speaking of phones, my bill - for through Sept 27th - wasn't as bad as I feared, it's about $400.00. I'm called Verizon, and they're crediting back all of minutes used on the 11th (not many, there was no cellular service!) and the 12th, which is very nice of them.

In other news, Missy moved back to the apartment today, so it's not so empty anymore.

And I have the best chunky applesauce with raisins from the Greenmarket. It's so good.

10/5/01
So as I was sitting in the theatre last night, I realized at 8.04pm that it was a Thursday, and I hadn't set the VCR for ER! So I called Dad from Row K, and asked him to tape it for me. I hate when I do that. I completely spaced on what day it was. And unfortunately, Dad's tape ran out 45 min into ER, so I missed the end, but I called him back to get the play by play of the last 15 minutes.

Anyway, slept til noon today. Understandable, since I was out so late. Having a wonderful time, oh yes. I'm just overly happy about this date thing. I never go out on dates, so it really was a lot of fun. Tho I must admit, I think I would be completely happy to never hear the phrase, "Marin Mazzie, my ex-girlfriend" ever again.

Mom's coming in for the weekend (and staying at the scenic No-Tell, er, Novotel Hotel in midtown), and we're seeing Thou Shalt Not tonight and Urinetown tomorrow. I hope they've miraculously fixed TSN by 8pm tonight. Right.

much later on 10/4/01
Dance of Death was two and a half hours of Ian McKellan chewing up the scenery.

Now let me say what a nice change it is to meet a funny, cute and easy to get along with theatre person who's straight! Who asked me out! I can't tell you how nice that is. We had a fun night, starting with a dash around the Neil Simon theatre because Joel had lost his wallet (it turns out he left it at home), then went for drinks (where I reminded Robert Sean Leonard that I had worked on Candida with him in 1993) etc. Very nice time. Now all I need to do is meet someone who's looking for a relationship - that seems to be the kicker. But anyway, we made tentative plans to go out again early next week, before I leave for KY.

And I am really tired, now, it's 3.30am, time for bed!

10/4/01
Just a quick update, as I'm stopping home for food (and email) before running out again. I went to the reading of Bruce's partner Bill's show, Everything's Ducky, and it was a lot of fun - hilariously funny and light, just what we need about now.

Seeing Dance of Death tonight. Going for drinks with Joel after (provided our phone tag antics pay off).

OK, that's all I have time to write.

10/3/01
I took another ride on the karma bus (not too difficult to do these days, what with people being so friendly and all) and helped this guy carry his boxes up the subway stairs.

One of the tenants in the building is taking some much-needed initiative and starting a tenant's association to do something as a group about the landlord. They're lowering rents at an incredible rate to attract new tenants, which is unfair to those of us who live here already. We've already faxed over our request for a lower rent in writing, but I'm all for going along with a tenant's movement as well. Apparently the landlord has also filed a $1million claim for "damages" to the building - right. Anyway, they're holding a meeting tomorrow night, but unfortunately I can't make it (Dance of Death tickets), but Jen thinks she can, so that's great. Hopefully something good will come from this - if the tenants can approach them in a united way.

Oh so how cool is this? I went up to Music Man to do my interview with Joel B. for Bruce, and it was a lot of fun - Joel's very funny. And he asked me out. How fun! I am having a completely flattered day, because I am funny and smart and stunning-looking. I, of course, said "yes."

10/2/01
Today's quest is to get our landlord to lower our rent (which is too high to begin with). So I spent the morning playing phone tag with people at the rental office and the broker, to see what we can do. My friend Adam, who works for the broker for our building, gave me a list of empty apartments (lots of ppl moving out) and the asking rents, which are all lower than what we're paying, so we're basing our plea on those numbers. I went and looked in some of the empty ones, most are smaller than what we have, but there's a sweet one on the 6th floor - it's already been rented again tho, Adam said. Not that we want to move out of our apartment, but we just want to pay less in rent - the air down here is preventing us from opening the windows and bringing the cats home, transportation sucks down here, stores aren't open, there are military folk all over - all in all, it's not as desireable to live here as it was. So Missy, Jen and I virtually put our heads together and wrote a letter to the rental folk that I'll fax over tomorrow morning, and hopefully they will agree to our request.

That's all the news from here.

Oh, and Steve bought me a gas mask, there's that. I hope it matches my wardrobe.

I was supposed to go and interview someone for Bruce tonight, but he spaced. Actors. We rescheduled for tomorrow between shows - tomorrow'll be busy. I have to go to Dad's to fax the letter to our landlord, have lunch with Steve, go shopping for a birthday present, do the interview, go to the Wiz to get blank DV tapes (J&R still closed), and go to see the William Shakespeare (abridged) again with Jen. Good getting-out-of-the-apartment kinda day.

Check that, I found Mini DV tapes online for cheap.

I finally finished reading the John Adams book. I hadn't been able to get back into it in the past few weeks, so today I sat down and read the last hundred pages. And I see that Scott Miller has written a third book about musicals. I'm ordering it now. Love his books - Michael borrowed his other two from me - must get those back at some point.

10/1/01
Happy October. We're in the middle of my favorite season. Sweater season. I love it. Get up and roadtrip season. Back to school season. Fall just always has a sense of starting over to me.

I'm flying to Kentucky in two weeks, and I'm scared to get on a plane. For the amount of travelling I do, I shouldn't be scared. But I keep seeing on the news that new hijacking or terrorist plots are discovered every day, and heck, someone might decide that a flight to the south is a good target (tho really, God knows why). So I'm a little apprehensive about flying.

But I've been good lately, I haven't been glued to the TV like I used to be. My insomnia has mostly abated, and I can sleep at night. Even tho the sky outside our apartment is a freakish white because of all the worklights, we have the apartment windows closed and can't hear the rescue crews through it. But they are still out there, just five blocks away. But I'm selfishly glad that I can't hear or see them from here.

My elbow isn't hurting this morning, I guess it wasn't anthrax after all.

-catherine

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