suck-my-big.org

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3/31/00
So in the not-so-small scheme of things... I had been thinking for some years now that I had gone to summer arts camp with Mira Sorvino (because I did go to a drama camp with a blond chick my age named Mira, and she talked about her dad a lot). But last night I met Mira Sorvino and asked her if she went there, and she said no, that she had gone to writing camp in CT, but maybe it was her sister. Not-so-small world.

But in the small-world scheme of things, the scenic artist on Naked at Missy's theatre is Jenn Stanjeski, who I worked at the Count Basie in Red Bank with in 1991 and 1992! And I hadn't seen her since then until last night. Now THAT is a small world! I love Jenn, she's terrific.

I am, however, annoyed. I feel like I have to stop bringing any of my friends around Missy, as she goes into full on snob mode. Of course, she does that around a lot of people, but it's annoying when she does it to me.

I'm still in the middle of reading Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson, it just rocks. I also ordered the Harry Potter books from Amazon, and some books by William Goldman. I think Amazon makes most of its money from me. When I finally buy my own apartment, one room will have to be just full of bookshelves - I'm always running out of space. I'm trying to save up for the big apartment purchase. Hopefully my newly-flush mutual fund portfolio will continue to grow. Of course, before I buy an apartment, I have to think about where I really want to live (UWS and be happy, Brooklyn and have space, whatever), and just how much space I will need, and who (if anyone, probably not) I want to share it with. I really want to be back living on my own these days, I just need space and quiet.

3/30/00
So... interport sucks. Ever since they were acquired by RCN, they have sucked more and more. But now they really suck. They managed to screw up my home dir, so I was unable to access my files for 3 days. Thanks.

I'm not going to have the Lasik surgery done. The doctor said that since my right eye is 20/30 now, it's too close to perfect to do the surgery on. Well, I don't think it's close to perfect, in fact, it's rather blurry, and I'd have to wear glasses post-surgery to see out of it, even if they can get my left eye (20/200) perfect. So no, I'll pass until I can have no-glasses at all. But it was nice to go and have my corneas mapped!

What else... There was so much I wanted to say while I was unable to get to this page, and now I can't remember any of it. This is the last week of Hamlet. Work is going well. I'm going to light another show at HERE with my friend David Mills, and hopefully we'll take that show to the fringe, too. Sue changed our tickets for Cuckoo's Nest in Chicago - the first set had, unbeknownst to her, conflicted with her college reunion weekend, so we're going on June 17th instead. Can't wait. I'm going to buy a DVD player soon. I want one.

That's it for random stuff, I guess. I'm really tired lately - late nights with Hamlet and early mornings with funkytalk. But I'm hanging in there.

3/25/00
While we're thinking about Hamlet (I'm always thinking about Hamlet), some humor:

 I ask to be, or not to be.
 That is the question, I ask of me.
 This sullied life, it makes me shudder.
 My uncle's boffing dear, sweet mother.
 Would I, could I take my life?
 Could I, should I, end this strife?
 Should I jump out of a plane?
 Or throw myself before a train?
 Should I from a cliff just leap?
 Could I put myself to sleep?
 Shoot myself, or take some poison?
 Maybe try self immoloition?
 To shudder off this mortal coil,
 I could stab myself with a fencing foil.
 Slash my wrists while in the bath?
 Would it end my angst and wrath?
 To sleep, to dream, now there's the rub.
 I could drop a toaster in my tub.
 Would all be glad, if I were dead?
 Could I perhaps kill them instead?
 This line of thought takes consideration -
 For I'm the king of procrastination.

Hee.

3/24/00
I know it would be unethical to actively recruit people from Xceed, but is it unethical if they're actively looking to get out of there? And if I never signed an agreement to NOT poach, what about that? Hmm. It's a shame that I hear so many people are looking, esp people in my department, but maybe it's a credit to how I ran the place that so many people are unhappy with how things are in my and Matt's absence.

So what's the deal with this laser eye surgery? Has anyone had it done? I keep thinking about it, because there are some days when I'm so sick of wearing glasses. And I can't do the contacts thing. But then again, I've worn glasses since I was 7, not wearing them would be really weird. But boy, it sure would be nice to see normally.

This is a gratuitous mention of my good friend Tom Julian, who has the joy of working at Xceed/ChannelSeven. I have no idea what it is he does, but I'm sure it's fascinating.

OK, enough gratuitous mention. This site is about ME. I'm really tired today. Tonight is Hamlet, tomorrow is True West and Hamlet, Sunday is Hamlet and the Oscars. Yay.

3/23/00
So my first solo run of Hamlet went well. I don't love the show, but it grew on me. 9 more performances to go...

Sue is here from Chicago this weekend - for work, but also to see shows and friends. We'll see her tonight at a cabaret show that we're all going to. I wish I could catch a show with her, but I have Hamlet at night, and am seeing the matinee of True West on Saturday. We're also relaunching the funkytalk.com site on Monday, so my spare weekend time might be spent here working on Q/A'ing the release. It's very cool, interactive, audience-driven entertainment stuff, check it out.

There isn't too much else going on, not that I have any spare time to do too much ;-) Tonight is the cabaret, Hamlet and then a new ER. About damn time, if you ask me.

3/21/00
When it rains, it pours. I'll be lighting another interesting show with Jeremy Halpern in May, up at Show World. Yes, the porn palace - NADA runs one of the theatre spaces there. I can't wait. I hope we stage it in the go-go booths. Doing shows with my friends is always fun, it means it's time to bring out the extension cords, 100-watt bulbs, and manual dimmer boards that sometimes work when you bang on them. It's a change from the really interesting Hamlet, in that if the show is bad, at least I had some artistic input into just how bad it is. With Hamlet, all I can do is watch (and push the 'go' button ;-).

I must say, I love walking to work. I must also say that I can't wait for my heel to feel better so I can wear real shoes again. I had a bone spur removed from my left heel at the end of Jan, and I'm recovering. My doctor told me to keep pressure off the heel (which means sandals) and to wear inch-or-higher heels to keep from stretching it (and from limping, this means sandals with heels). So it's March, and I'm wearing my summer shoes. In addition to cold tootsies, I'm sure I'm violating some fashion police error. So anyway, I can't wait until I'm completely out of pain.

3/20/00
I survived Day One at funkytalk.com, and it was exciting. No computer, no boss, and no desk until noon - what a way to start ;-) I think I'm going to enjoy working there, the people are terrifically funny and prone to nerf gun wars in the hall, and the work is going to be exciting.

So many people have emailled Jen and I about this radio thing - I really had no idea. I hadn't heard of the show before we did the interview, and it turns out that everyone we know listens! Weird! I also find it weird that people are so fascinated by something that happened 3 years ago, but I guess it's still interesting and somewhat relevant.

I'm in the middle of reading Cryptonomicon - it's pretty good so far. I got on a kick of reading about codebreaking and the Enigma stuff and all sorts of good shit. I highly recommend Simon Singh's The Code Book - it was fascinating.

And I'm irked that I can't find the video of PBS's Great Performances True West with Gary Sinise and John Malkovich anywhere - it's out of print and about $60 on eBay. If anyone taped it last July when it aired or has a copy they'd like to lend me, let me know.

3/19/00
Very cool, I was on NPR, and I didn't sound dorky. And it's the end of my week off - went to NJ today to visit Eve's parents, her mom painted two abstract pieces for me (on commission!) for my wall, and they came out great.

Tomorrow is back to work... I feel like I could use another month off or something, but alas. In theatre work news, I'm running the lighting board for Hamlet at HERE for the next two weeks. It's not really Hamlet, it's an "adaptation," and I use that term loosely. It's very weird. Very.

3/16/00
Ahhh, spa. It was stunning, but as soon as it was over and I got home, I was as stressed as before. I think I need to move into a spa for good. Or hire a masseuse or something.

Today is Matt's last day at Xceed, and people are leaving left and right from what I hear and read. I really wish things had worked out better there, as I loved all of the people in my department (almost all of them, that is), but alas. It would be great to work with some of the people there again, but not with the company, I don't think. Well, who knows what'll happen. It's weird living a block from the Xceed office, since I see coworkers out on the street when I go out. I don't feel like I've been able to separate myself from it just yet - maybe starting the new job will help.

Jen, Missy and I saw Aida again last night. Going to see the MTC's Wild Party again tomorrow night. I was asked to run the board for a production of Hamlet at HERE, but I'm waiting for the director to call back and get me the times etc so I can see if it fits my schedule. Other than that, my theatre life is slow until Aug, when I'll be lighting a show in the Fringe Festival, and also the Chekhov Now festival for the 2nd year.

Hung out on Tuesday with my friend Kenny, who I hadn't seen in a while; we're going out again tomorrow to the museum, to see the new planetarium. And I'm having lunch with Dave, my ex, tomorrow as well. With all this seeing of ex's lately, you'd think I'd be mortifyingly melancholy, but I'm not. I'm really happy being single these days, as I have so much to concentrate on with work and thinking over the apartment and finances and whatnot. I just don't have the desire to be involved with anyone seriously these days.

3/14/00
So I have this week off, since I don't start the new job until the 20th. I'm kind of glad that I do, since I need to clear my head out from Xceed. I hear tell that Tom, our esteemed VP of Technology is spending this week bad-mouthing my partner Matt and I. (Matt and I both gave notice at the same time, and Tom is one of the major reasons we're leaving - he just isn't the right person to be the VP, but anyway.) So I'm glad I'm not there. But I get really bored with nothing to do all day, so I've been catching up on laundry, cleaning, and eBay.

The interview that Jen and I did for This American Life will be broadcast this weekend. If you go to their site, there's a sound clip of Jen up there. It'll be interesting to see how they edit it down to 15 minutes.

I'm splurging tomorrow on a half-day at the Origin's Spa in Chelsea Piers. I want to feel pampered.

3/8/00
In the past 6 months, I have...

I'm so looking forward to starting my new job. FT seems like a great group of people, and I'm excited to be in a defined role that I'm prepared for. When I started at Xceed, it was as a developer, and I really carved out the role that I was doing on my own, and grew into it, and discovered what my strengths were (people management, dealing with non-technical people, good broad tech understanding, problem solving) as well as my weaknesses (strategy, dealing with sales people, anything with Microsoft Project). So I'm looking forward to doing what I do well, but having the experience of the past 15 months behind me.

Perhaps I'll put the rest of the site back up - I need some time to go through all of the files here and figure out what I want to keep online.

-catherine

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