suck-my-big.org

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2/28/01
I had dinner with the Village Ventures staff last night at this very swanky restaurant called Tabla, on Madison and 24th Street. Oh, it was swanky! The kind of swanky where they come and replace your silverware based on what you've ordered - between every course! The food was amazingly good - I had the shrimp and clams appetizer, and lamp chops with something I can't remember for the entree, and vanilla and black tea custard that was caramelized ala creme brulee for dessert. It was one of those meals where afterwards, I just wanted to sit and rest my belly. So I sat and rested in on the subway home, and then read a bit of Foucault's Pendulum before sleeping.

Maybe there was something in the food, but I could not sleep at all last night - I kept waking up and literally tossing and turning all night. So when the alarm went off this morning - I had to get up to get rush tickets for The Full Monty for Mom and I for tonight's show, I really didn't want to get out of bed. I couldn't. But I did, and went up to get the tickets on 49th Street. Came home, and fell back asleep until 1pm. Showered, ate, and here I am online.

I'm doing an interview next Monday with a friend of Peter Shankman's, who's making a movie about Silicon Alley. Fame and fortune, here I come. Right. And then Tuesday I leave for Seattle. Where there was just a 6.2 earthquake. Peter's alright, but he said their building was shaking something fierce. I am glued to CNN.

Well, they upgraded the quake to a 7.0, according to CNN. Jeez.

In a matter of impeccable timing, my London trip will overlap Peter's trip - he and his roommate are going for 3 weeks, ending on April 16th. They've never been, so I offered to do touristy things with them on my day off. Which is Easter Sunday, and probably nothing will be open, but then we can spend the day in a pub or something. Or Westminster Abbey, and then a pub. Anyway, that trip'll be a lot of fun, I'm looking forward to it. Love London.

Will's going into Aida as a standby this summer. Very cool.

My hair gets curly-ish when I put it up in a bun while it's damp, and then later take it down. I wish it would always stay curly, all day. That was a complete tangent.

So this is the end of February, huh. Spring is coming. It feels like winter still tho - it was 35 degrees and windy today. I'm looking for work, making plans to travel and to find a new apartment in the summer, and reading long books again. I like it. It's nice to have some downtime here.

2/27/01
This month is flying by! I had a super physical therapy session this morning, and I should be up and running around in no time at all. Of course, the only running I do is across streets to avoid traffic, but still, running is running. I go back to see my orthopedist on Friday morning, and have him check my progress. And I should be in PT for another two months or so. Not too bad.

Yesterday, I met my friend Scott for lunch up at a sushi place on Amsterdam Ave. I really miss living on the Upper West Side. He made a very astute New York comment - that this is one of the only places where cultures who would normally never meet each other can argue - the Jews and the African-Americans. A Chinese guy and an Indian guy. A Pakistani cab driver and a Russian passenger. It's a very New York thing. We talked about racism outside of the city, my observations on drinking and driving (we don't have that here, because we don't drive!), and the ecomony (everyone's favorite topic of conversation these days).

I also went on another interview yesterday. Before going in, I told the recruiter that I was not the ideal person for the position - and even though the interview went well, the CTO and I agreed that I was not the right person for that position. But they have some other positions available that might be a better fit, so he's going to check for me. It was very startup-y, which scares me. I don't like jobs where you need to bring your own office supplies. And I talked to my other recruiter (I have about six of them) and he has something that might be good for me, too. So slowly moving along...

Last night, I went to help set up a theatre event for Adam Melnick's group, LITE. The folks I did the Chekhov Now festival with. It was good to see Adam again, and Dave Gochfeld and Amalie and Dan and all of the other familiar faces. I stayed for the beginning, saw Dave and Rachel's very funny piece, and then left after a very bad one-act play reading. I'm glad I went, even if I didn't stick around, I needed to get out of the apartment. And I miss seeing the LITE folks. Or rather, I miss seeing Dave. He looked great.

Dona's meeting with Anil today about having a tattoo done - I'm going to go with her for moral support, and also to see Anil again. I haven't been down there in a while. And then tonight is dinner with the Village Ventures folks at somewhere reasonably swanky, which means I should change out of my jeans.

2/26/01
I'm going to go to London in April. Why not? I booked tickets already - and in the spirit of not looking at a calendar when I make trips (remember July? When I didn't realize I was going on the fourth of July weekend?), I have booked my trip for Easter weekend. It's a good thing I'm not religious. I figure I'll celebrate my lack of income tax bill by seeing some good theatre over there. Tim said I can crash at his new flat, so that saves me a bit more money. Money I can use for theatre!

So I booked my plane tix (Virgin, almost as cheap as the discount fare, but not quite), and theatre tix to see Beautiful Game and The Secret Garden. I've got two more spaces to fill up, but I might want to wait til I'm there and see if I can get cancellation tix to see Jonathan Pryce in My Fair Lady - a show I do not love, but boy do I like Jonathan Pryce.

Anyway, must get dressed and run up to meet my friend Scott for lunch. Sushi! And then a job interview after that, fingers crossed.

later on 2/25/01
So the show, I Will Bear Witness, needs to be cut in half. It is just too long and everyone agrees. The material that the play is based on - the diary of Victor Klemperer - is fascinating stuff, but the play just drags on and on... it would be as if someone stood on stage and read the contents of this site for three hours. Not that exciting. It wasn't compelling at all, there was no background, and I would rather have seen a play based on the material, rather than the material itself. So right, it was just long. I'm going to usher for the other show, Race, on this Thursday. After the show tonight, I went for dinner with Jonathan, over at 7A. Big greasy burger, which was just what I wanted. We thought the show was only ninety minutes long, so I didn't eat beforehand, but no, it was three hours long. Can I say that again? THREE HOURS LONG.

Anyway.

2/25/01
Finally! My site hosting is now switched to Earthlink, and I am so happy about it. I'm testing all of the links etc. on the site, so if you notice something that isn't working, please let me know.

It's been a sleepy weekend - Missy and I both slept until noon today - Jen's home, so I couldn't tell you how late she slept. Anyway, sleep sleep sleep, set the VCR for The Simpsons tonight, shower, dress, watch TV, slow morning. I'm ushering for Missy tonight, and then going for drinks with Jonathan. It's miserable-looking out tho, and supposed to be damp and rainy. Bleh. Must find food before I go out.

The words "President Bush" really scare me when I hear them on the news.

I haven't heard from Josh yet about when's good to come down to Salt Lake City while I'm on my trip. That annoys me, and I'll remind him tomorrow.

2/24/01
I do love sleeping late. I was up late reading Foucault's Pendulum (which I am enjoying much more than the first time I read it), and slept til almost noon today. I ended up not going to see the band play last night, just stayed in. Missy and Marcy went to the show, but they went with a friend who had dated Brian (from the band), so it wasn't an ideal time to be trying to introduce anyone! Went to see Proof at the matinee, and loved it just as much as the first two times, if not more.

And now... a night of sitting on the couch in front of the TV. Ahh.

So Hakan bailed from this concert that Mom and I were supposed to see tomorrow (and he was the only reason we were going), so we turned in the tickets. I'm going to usher for Missy at Classic Stage instead, that'll be fun. They do excellent shows there (and one of their current repertory pieces, Race was profiled on NY1 tonight!) - fun fun fun.

2/23/01
I love my new friend Gregor in Edinburgh - he taped a radio show on the BBC that Jerome Pradon sang on for me. Aww!

So snow... lots of snow. We got about five inches here, and most of it fell while I was trying to get uptown yesterday. I took the bus up to the East Village, because the subway is a hike on both ends to get where I needed to go, and the bus stops right outside the door. So I walked to the bus stop, and the bus was pulling right up. But it was too full for any more passengers, so I waited with the other people at the bus stop until the next bus came - which wasn't for twenty minutes! Freezing! Finally, a bus came and there was plenty of space. Because the snow was still coming down, and they hadn't plowed the streets yet, the bus crawled up the street... it would normally take fifteen minutes to get to 8th Street, but it took nearly an hour - so I was late.

Anyway, I didn't get home until 2.30am, and fell asleep as soon as I got home. This morning, the combination of hangover and lack of sleep didn't leave me feeling too great, so I rescheduled my first interview for Monday and went back to bed.

I had another interview today, which went really well - a software company that develops software for theatre and multimedia presentations. How cool would it be to put my two backgrounds together! The position they're creating is ideal for my background, and they asked for references, which is a really good sign. So I emailed over some names and numbers, and we'll see what happens.

2/22/01
OK, I am not missing my physical therapy appointment today! I am awake bright and early!

Chicago last night was a lot of fun - although we were up in the balcony with the candy wrapper wrattlers, and two women who were both Bebe Neuwirth's biggest fan. No really, they had the t-shirts to prove it.

I love my accountant, Phil. He's already completed and sent back all of my tax forms. And once I look at it on paper, it isn't as confusing as I was expecting. I also don't owe as much as I was expecting - closer to $5K total than the $15K I thought I would owe! I tell you, if there are still cheap London fares, that's a tempting way to spend the extra money I'll have after I pay the IRS. Must check with travel agent. Must check calendar.

Oh, I heard from a reader that NYC schools have off this week, hence the loud children upstairs.

Anyway, it's early - 9.30am - and I have to run off to the therapist. And then I have to run off to some show at the Javits center with Jonathan, which should be incredibly geeky. We kept missing each other for lunch (due to weather, illness or sleep), so we're going to play catch up at a wireless convention. And that's my exciting day!

OK, time has passed, and I'm back from the Javits Center. What a boring convention! No one there was showing any useful applications of wireless technology, and I have to say that Jonathan, his friend Brian and I were the coolest people there. So I get there, and don't see Jonathan there yet, so I call him on his cell - he's running late. He says that Brian is also waiting for him, and I ask, "Might he be the tall guy in a long fur coat and a cowboy hat?" I walk over to the guy meeting that description and ask if his name is Brian. It is. Can I pick 'em or what? So we get to talking, and he's an actor and musician, and I think he'd hit it off with Missy. Totally her type, really fun. Jonathan tells me (when he gets there) that Brian's band is playing tomorrow night, so I make a mental note to ask Missy if she wants to go.

When I got home, I called Missy to ask if she has plans after her show tomorrow night. She said, "Actually, I have to go to a gig with [coworker] Marcy tomorrow, her friend from Vassar is coming up and we have to see this band..." "Vassar? Jonathan went to Vassar. What's the name of the band?" I ask, thinking the world can't be that small. Well, it is! Marcy knows Brian from college, and it is indeed the same band that I wanted to bring Missy to see. So we'll all be there anyway, and I can hopefully introduce her to Brian. Small world!

Anyway, apart from that, boring convention! Boring exhibitors! Boring schwag to bring home! And lots of people asking, "and what do YOU do?" My answers ranged from "I'm a banking executive" to "I work in venture capital, evaluating wireless companies for funding" to "I run an adult entertainment site, suck-my-big.org." And as my badge DID say "suck-my-big.org," people believed it. I think that was my personal favorite reply, I only wish I had come up with it earlier. But really, we were the coolest people there - Jon in his pimp sunglasses, Brian in his fur and cowboy hat, and me in my infinite sass. Make your own fun.

Did I mention that it's snowing? We're on our way to 2-4 inches of white stuff on the ground. It's also very very cold out. I said "screw it" to fashion, and am going around in my white fleece ear-wrap thing - can't find my hat.

Best toy of the wireless thing - light-up yo-yo. Mimi is digging it. So am I, actually. There were a lot of light-up toys there, mostly bouncy balls, but the yo-yo was a score. Otherwise, not much good stuff. Fold-up NYC subway map, plastic slinky emblazoned with the logo of some company that'll be out of business in six weeks, lots of pens, a plastic telescope (whatever), a post-it pad (cool, I use those like water), and one more squishy stress ball for my collection.

I have two job interviews tomorrow, and it's really cold out.

2/21/01
There's something I love about being able to sleep til noon... I just can't put my finger on it. But I'm sure it's adding to my good mood of the past two days.

Right, so I went to the box office at Chicago, armed with my post-it note that had the discount code for tickets on it. I said to the man, "Hi, I have a discount code that I wanted to use." Here, I waved the post-it note at him. He said, "You have to bring the actual flyer." "But I got it from online!" "Then you need to print it out." "But I don't have a printer," I sighed. He looked at me, and said, "OK, I shouldn't do this, but I'll put in the code for you. When did you want tickets for?" Et voila, I'm going tonight. Another example of my charm oozing across New York.

Anyway. the children upstairs are still screaming. Which is weird, because it's the middle of the day and shouldn't they be in school?

2/20/01
For some reason, I'm in a really giddy mood today.

I thought it was Monday - slept right through my physical therapy appointment, and I called to apologize and reschedule. So I went in at 3pm instead of 10am. Not too bad. I love going. Today I bounced on a trampoline - in preparation for learning to run again.

I also got two calls from recruiters today, and I went and met with one of them, who was an absolutely terrific guy. He's sending my resume out to four companies tomorrow, which rocks. I'm in a very optimistic job mood now.

And what else... Oh, went to see Kiss Me Kate with Matthew - we met up at TKTS and that was the most promising thing up there. I'm also going to see Chicago tomorrow night with Bebe - I'll miss the Grammys, but I'm really not that big a music person to begin with, so that's not a big deal. Would much rather see Bebe Neuwirth.

2/19/01
Amazing how a weekend of sleep can make you feel better. I feel so much better today. And it's relatively gorgeous out. Sunny and brisk. I went up to the Village Ventures office to get the rest of my books, and took the bus there and back - much nicer than taking the subway. On the ride back downtown, one of my recruiters called and said she had set up an interview with an educational company for me for Friday or Monday (she had to check my availability), which is very cool. Funny thing about the company tho, their CTO, who wants to meet me, worked at CBS with VV coworkers Evan and Jen. In fact, he was Evan's boss there, and Evan is also interviewing for the position. I think he's infinitely more qualified if it's a hands-on job, but the CTO wants to meet with me anyway - he probably doesn't know that Evan and I know each other. Small world!

And thanks to Jonathan, who gave me the NYC Quality of Life hotline number, I reported the annoying kids upstairs, who will not stop their noise, even tho I have repeatedly asked them to stop. Ahh.

I was having all kinds of depressing thoughts while riding the bus (the best place to have such thoughts, actually, because bus drivers here are so insane in their driving that you never know if you'll survive the trip) that Josh and I will never end up in the same city and I should just forget about it working. And maybe I should date more in New York. But I really don't want to date here, because all relationships either end in marriage or in breaking up (for the most part), and really, the only person that I could feasibly spend the rest of my life with (or really want to) is in Salt Lake City, so what's the point of dating anyone here? I don't want short-term flings, which is why I haven't dated anyone all year. And I don't want something that's going to end, but how do you immediately jump into a long term relationship? Of course, if I talk to Josh and it turns out that there's no way we're going to end up in the same place, or if it turns out I'm feeling more strongly than he is (me? in that situation? never), then it's back to square one, as it were. I don't know.

I think those feeling are combined with the unemployment ones - that I'm underestimating myself and my skills. And I know that not having a job at the moment is not my fault, but it still feels that way sometimes. "Don't waste your talent," goes a line from Proof. It actually goes, "Don't waste your talent, Catherine." The main character's name is Catherine.

Note to self: do not underestimate your self! Do not waste your talent! Do not sound like a line from a self-help book!

2/18/01
The Times website confused me this morning, because the date on their site said it was still the 17th. Perhaps it's my flu-addled brain.

It's been such a blah weekend. I've been mostly sleeping and pounding on the ceiling to stop the kids upstairs from waking me up at 7am. I also did a lot of sitting in front of the TV (I bought Glory and Elizabeth on DVD yesterday). And I am feeling much better for it.

2/17/01
Still sick. Dad called as planned at 8am, but there was no way I could move. Achy, sore, tired, headachy, throat hurts, don't want to do anything. I went back to bed until noon, and had to go outside to buy more cold pills, as I used the last of them up last night. It's cold out, and only going to get colder. So I'm staying in today, reconfiguring my machine to dial into Earthlink instead of RCN, and doing absolutely nothing today.

2/16/01
I am sick as a dog today. Yesterday afternoon, I noticed that my throat was sore, but it wasn't anything serious. And I had a headache, again, not bad - I took some aspirin and it went mostly away. So we got home from Proof last night (just as good as the first time, I loved this show) and my headache was back and I was feeling a bit achy. Popped some cold pills and went to bed. I woke up at 4am, sweating, congested, feeling feverish. I took some more aspirin and also some nighttime cold pills, and went back to bed. And stayed there until about 3pm today - I slept all day. It was supposed to be my last day at work, but I slept. Not that I had planned to do anything today except bring books home, but still... I cancelled my dinner plans with my friend Peter for tonight, and am hoping that I feel well enough to go to NJ tomorrow with Dad. I'm still very congested and achy and groggy. So I think I will go back to bed now.

2/15/01
I'm moving to Earthlink for dialup and hosting. I don't care that I have to pay for it. RCN is not worth the hassles that I'm dealing with. I called Earthlink a few minutes ago and signed up for a dialup account and a hosting account, and am waiting for them to email me the login/FTP info etc. They're also sending me the information on changing my domain aliasing over to Earthlink. Pain in the neck, but I would really like actual service from my service provider. Ugh. At least I have plenty of free time to get it sorted out. There may be some kludgy crossover time as Network Solutions re-aliases my domain, but whatever. I'm leaving dorothyparker.com parked at RCN for now, as I don't really give that address out all that much. I'll just stick up a placeholder or move the Parker poems back there or something. Erg.

I really hate RCN.

Anyway, last night, before the RCN debacle, I went out with Jen, Ngoc and Matthew (filling in for Trish, who had to cancel) at the short story reading thing at Symphony Space. The story that Robert Sean Leonard read - "The Smoker" by David something-or-another - I know I had read before, but I can't remember where I read it. He was really good - they all were, really. I'm glad we went, I had a really fun time out. At the intermission of the show, the host came out to do a quiz on love songs. He would sing a few lines and the audience had to continue. Most of them were showtunes, which amused us. But it amused me to see a theatre full of New Yorkers sing love songs together, it's one of those things you just don't expect, living here. It was nice (for lack of a better word).

Changing my email address is harder than changing my snail mail address. I'm subscribed to so many lists, and have my email address on so many forms and papers (including my resume) - it's going to be a pain to figure out changing it all. Luckily I don't have to get rid of the rcn.com account just yet, but I really want to ditch them completely, the sooner the better.

My evil twin, Sherry, got engaged! That's super news, I've been reading her site since before she met George, her fiance, and this is terrific. I told her that she must invite me to the wedding, as I need an excuse to get out of the airport and actually go somewhere in Canada. Hee. I guess she won't be my evil twin much longer, as there are no wedding bells in my future.

OK - my Earthlink account is set up - you can email me there now. I can't move the domain just yet, as Network Solutions needs to re-alias the DNS or something. Oh and get this - RCN emailed me to say that yes, they DID delete my files knowingly. I asked why they didn't inform me in advance, and they had no answer. So they reinstated my folder for 24 hours, and I'm re-downloading here at work. I'll have to stick the files somewhere else, or download them again tonight from RCN (over a crappy dialup), so we shall see.

later on 2/14/01
Oh my God. If I thought I hated RCN before, they've really done it this time. In preparation for leaving my job this week, I zipped up all of my mp3's (about four gigs), and uploaded them into a directory at RCN so I could download them at home or to another work computer. I LOVE my mp3 collection. So my friend Jesse emails me tonight to ask where the conducting pic is, and I said, "it's there, duh." But I go to look, and I got a 404 error - file not found. I FTP'd into rcn.com to see what was up, and the file was gone. Gone. And my entire directory of mp3's was also GONE. All four gigs - GONE. I called RCN's tech support - you know how helpful they are. The person I spoke to didn't know what "FTP" stood for. After spelling it out for him, I explained what happened, and they said they were unable to do anything about it. They had no idea what happened to the files. No, they couldn't restore anything from a backup. No, they couldn't have a sysadmin look at their server logfiles to see when the file and directory were deleted. No, they couldn't do it for just one user - when I asked if they really cared about providing any service, they said "Of course we care about all of our users," but I'm not convinced. I really don't believe that there's nothing they can do.

And not even an apology.

I am so angry with them.

I love Joe Gillis, who's downloading some of the rarer files I had from Napster again, and putting them on CD. But I have no desire (or time, or zippy network connection) to go and rebuild the rest of my collection - it'll take forever. Ugh.

2/14/01
Ah, Valentine's Day - the best part of Valentine's Day is that chocolate goes on sale tomorrow.

So how much do I love David Chase and the rest of the pit at The Music Man? I had such a great time last night conducting the overture. Due to my major Palm wipeout of two weeks ago, I had lost David's phone number, so he called me yesterday afternoon ("I thought YOU were going to call ME.") and we made plans to meet at 7.15pm at the stage door. So after dinner (pizza) with Jen, Dona, and the rest of the crew, I went to meet David. Ran into Ari (who was sick as a dog) outside the theatre, too. Seems like everyone I know (almost, I wonder where James was) was there last night.

Anyway, so I met David, and we dropped my stuff off in the band area - Danny the trumpet player let me use his locker to leave my coat etc. in. David and I walked through the overture on the set, complete with whacking the bass drum loudly. He pointed out where the other musicians would be on the train platform, and how to get offstage afterwards.

The rest of the orchestra was happy to have a "girl on the train," but I think just as happy to know that I'd be changing in and out of costume backstage with them. Anyway. Got dressed, hung out with Paul (the fiddle player, who I knew before all of this happened), who also wasn't feeling well, there must be something going around. We went up to the stage together and chatted (quietly) on the set until it was time to go.

And so yeah, the next 5 minutes were a blur.

After the overture, I went backstage with the rest of the onstage musicians and changed back to my clothes, and then went to watch the show from the pit. I spent act one with the loud side (the brass) - Chris the french horn player lent me earplugs. Which are still in my pants pocket, whoops. And I spent act two with the quiet side (strings), so Paul and I could talk during the breaks. The brass side is the artsy/geeky side, doing crosswords and drawing during the breaks. The strings side just throws things at each other ;-)

So I had a super time, I told David that I'd come back and conduct anytime. It's so good to have a big live orchestra feel - there's so much now that's synthesized and fake. The orchestra at The Music Man is first rate, and I hope they run a long time there.

Well, apart from that, there isn't anything exciting going on. I slept late this morning (because it's not like I have loads of work to keep me busy this week), picked up my film with pictures of London, Utah and NYC (which I should scan in at some point, must see if scanner is free), and am about to go meet Laura Kraber for lunch.

So tomorrow I'm doing all of my leave-Village Ventures paperwork, which means I'm all done here. I will probably come in on Friday anyway to bring my books etc. home, as there're a lot left here still. I've been trying to bring home one or two each night, but I have a lot. Next job - leave books home until needed. I'm going to miss the people I work with, but I really do want to get back into something more services oriented - this has pulled away from that and I know I've commented on it. So I'm not TOO upset about it. Remind me I said that in a month if I still don't have a job.

2/13/01
Tonight's the big conducting night. I am all sassy looking, which won't matter because I have to wear my hair up, my earrings out (all of them!), and no nail polish. Very 1912. I can't wait.

Russell Crowe was nominated for Best Actor at the Oscars - he is a sexy bitch. I'm sure he'll win. And Juliette Binoche, too - very cool.

So I'm taking the long version of the Seattle trip - the weekend before St. Patrick's Day is the point directly between Josh finishing midterms and starting spring break, so we can get together. He suggested that we meet halfway between Seattle and Salt Lake City, but upon looking at a map, we discovered that the midpoint is Boise. And frankly, I don't think there's much to do out there. So I will drive down, which is fine by me, as I am really in the mood for a roadtrip, and perhaps I can detour back through San Francisco or something and visit with Sally Chou if she's there, or my friend Cesar (studying Theology out there) - must get plane tickets first and then make plans!

So I thought that this was my last week of physical therapy, but when I went in this morning, the therapist said I need to come back more, as I am not fully healed. Fine with me, I like going - but I have to figure out the COBRA health insurance thing first. I also have an appointment with my orthopedist on the 2nd to take care of.

2/12/01
So I am happy today - front row tickets to see Gary Sinise in Cuckoo's Nest next month. This is the production I was supposed to see in Chicago (when I was sitting in the plane, on the runway, as they cancelled our flight), and then missed in London by two weeks last summer. With my luck, New York will be hit by a giant flood or hurricane or blizzard or heat wave, and they'll cancel the one performance I have tickets to. If it rocks, I'll see it again, but I fear it's going to sell out; it's a limited run. I love Gary Sinise - I think he's a sexy bitch. Mrowr. Front row will rock.

Speaking of men I find attractive, Jerome Pradon will be on BBC2 radio on Friday, Feb 23rd - for a musical theatre program. A friend in Edinburgh is going to record it for me, yay.

Things are feeling very repetitious lately - the Cuckoo's Nest bit, the fact that Jen and I got tickets to see *cough*'NSync*cough* again (in another state, no less), the job hunting thing. It just really feels like things are coming full circle. Or just moving in circles.

Broadway Bears last night was a lot of fun - we of course did not buy anything, because we are poor this month. But some of the bears are adorable. Some of the actors modeling the bears were adorable, too.

Tomorrow night I make my conducting debut in The Music Man - guess I should go listen to the overture again.

What I really want is for my book proposal to find a publisher, and for the publisher to pay me lots of money, and for the book to become wildly popular and taught in all levels of educational programs, and for my bank account to increase without my really having to do anything. I actually had a good talk with an acquaintance of Ben's today who's working for a company that's combining technology with live presentation (theatre, industrials, etc). Sounds interesting. Since it's proprietary stuff, he couldn't go into too much detail, but I did send down my resume, and we may get together - that would be very cool. Tech and theatre, together at last.

Ah, scheduling issues:

Swerd5: I don't know, when's a good time for you?
StupidH0: um. let's see. tonght i have dinner plans, tomorrow, wed and thurs i have show plans.
StupidH0: sat i'm in NJ
Swerd5: new killer app of the moment - a calendaring system that keeps track of your friends free time, so you can schedule with them.
StupidH0: (that's called Exchange)
Swerd5: let me look at my schedule...
Swerd5: hmm
StupidH0: hrm
Swerd5: having had no employment and no prospects for six weeks now, I can say pretty securely that any day during the day until friday (when I'll be out of town) is fine with me. Tuesday through Thursday.  
StupidH0: well, during the day is kind of bleh for me since I'm job hunting and potentially interviewing
StupidH0: and i have lunch stuff lined up already
Swerd5: I see.  hrm
Swerd5: nights are bad for me, as I'm a socialite.
StupidH0: i know you are. hrm.
Swerd5: lemme dig through that social calendar
StupidH0: and i am a theatre queen
Swerd5: How does Sunday grab you?
StupidH0: before 5 i'm free
Swerd5: god.  New York is insane, when you've got two unemployed people and _still_ not enough time to get together.

I quit the Sports Club today. There's $80/month I wasn't using.

2/11/01
So far, it's a typical lazy Sunday. I was rudely awoken by the kids upstairs (and I did go over today to ask their mother to shut them up. It hasn't helped), and couldn't get back to sleep. So I went to get doughnuts and the Times.

Yesterday was theatre day - Mom and I went to see Time and Again - which, if you remember, I hated the first time around. We didn't make it to the second act. It really hadn't gotten any better, which is a shame. I really love the novel. Oh well. Came home, changed into something less grubby than jeans and a sweater, and I went back out to the V-Day gala at MSG. V-Day was started by Eve Ensler, who wrote The Vagina Monologues, and it's to protest violence against women. The estrogen was flowing! It was a really good benefit, and the best part was Joan Osborne singing an acoustic version of "St. Theresa" - my favorite of her songs. Missy, Jen, Dona and I went, and had amazing seats, the first row of our section.

It's freezing out. I'm going out in a bit to meet Ari and Kim (fellow "amateur videographers," as it happens) to see Hannibal at the movies, and then off to the BC/EFA charity event of the weekend - Broadway Bears. They auction off teddy bears dressed as Broadway celebs. We aren't planning to buy anything (right, with the lack of jobs in the apartment), but the invite does say "open bar," so that's enticing. Heh.

2/9/01
Instead of hitting the snooze button this morning, I turned my clock off, and didn't get up until 9am. Not that I had any pressing things to do at work this morning, but I still wanted to get here at a normal hour. I'm still really tired tho - don't know why. I just really am.

Talked to my brother last night, and I think I'm going to definitely do Seattle for St. Patrick's Day weekend. He and Corrie and her (very Irish) family celebrate all weekend, and march in the big parade out there, so that would be a lot of fun. And as I've been in the roadtrip mood lately, I'd like to go out earlier and drive down to Salt Lake to see Josh (who I miss more than I thought I would), but I'm waiting to hear back from him before I book plane tickets.

I am just very tired. Even playing the "wake me up" music from my mp3 collection (highly edited to preprare for inevitable hard drive cleansing) isn't helping. I'm not horribly broken up about the job situation, since I could see this coming, and they've been very honest about everything going on. I think the company will do well, and I do think Matt and Bo will succeed. And I will really miss working with the people here. But I really hate the starting over and the looking for work and the thought of cleaning my things out of the office here. Hate it. But I've called all of the recruiters that I work with, and sent my resume out some more today, so we'll see what happens.

I picked up our tickets for the star-studded benefit of the Vagina Monologues that we're going to tomorrow night. It's going to rock. When else can you hear Oprah use the word "snatch"?

2/8/01
So, in a completely expected turn of events, we're closing the services group at work. VV is going to re-focus the company towards the "capital" side of things, instead of the services part. I'm not too broken up about it (although it means interviewing, and I hate interviewing), because we saw it coming. So this next week will be spent finishing up projects and bringing books home (ugh! heavy!). I sent my resume around to a few companies and to my recruiters.

So in the meantime, I might have to take advantage of the cheap Virgin airfares/generous severance combination and go to London and Paris for a week or two. It's very tempting, but I don't know... I should save the money to pay taxes. But this is the only forseeable time I'll be able to take two weeks of time off. Hrm. Must ponder. I could also go out to Seattle for a little while, do some driving around the west.

2/7/01
I'm having a fairly unexciting week so far. Haven't seen any shows (and probably won't until Saturday, as tonight I have dinner plans, tomorrow is ER night, and Friday I might go see Hannibal at the movies). Boss Ben is down from Williamstown today, so we can find out what's going on with work stuff. Can't wait.

Virgin Atlantic (my new favorite airline) is having the winter $198RT New York-London airfare sale. I am so so so tempted. Must wait until after Ben meeting. But this could be the kick-in-the-pants that I need to take two or three weeks and just GO.

I have a cellfone once again! I am mobile! Same number, for those that have it.

2/6/01
So two people (a coworker and my physical therapist) have told me that I smell great in the past two days. It's Chanel Allure, folks. Or the switch to Herbal Essences shampoo this week. And three people (one in the diner, two in the SLC airport) told me that my black boots were sassy. And then there was that guy staring at me in the bookstore. Maybe something's up with my pheromones or something.

Not that I mind.

I almost had to sleep with earplugs last night. The never-ending construction has moved down the street to a location where the sound carries a little better. So at 12.30am last night, the jackhammers started going at it. Ugh. I just want them to stop.

A quick check of my Visa bill reveals that my membership at the NYSC was NOT suspended, as it was supposed to be. I called the surgical coordinator at the doctor's office, and she said they had taken care of it, but the Sports Club confirmed that they never received a note to suspend it. So I had the coordinator fax me over a note that I can take to the gym to have the membership suspended. Of course, now I'm about ready to go back to the gym! Timing is everything.

2/5/01
Happy birthday, brother Peter! It's a good thing I have a good memory for dates, because my Palm Pilot managed to overwrite my Outlook calendar AND contacts this morning when I sync'd. I KNEW that having this machine upgraded to Windows 2000 was a bad move. Waiting to hear back from Operations to see if they had backed up the server.

So I'm home from Utah, and I'm sad in general. I love Josh very much, but it looks like we're destined to never be in the same place. He has another year to go in Salt Lake City, and then another 6 years or so to do his Master's and PhD. The bright news is that he might be in DC this summer, which is only three hours away. I am just not liking the hand that I've been dealt here.

Apart from being upset over the idea of a long-distance anything, I had a good time in Utah. Salt Lake City itself is very boring, but we drove south to Moab and stayed over there, drove through the Canyonlands, that was beautiful. Here are some thoughts on the southwest:

So it's snowing here, too.

OK, so the verdict was that my Palm can't be restored, because there is no backup. So I'm spending too much time trying to add all of my contacts in from memory. Calendar, too. So if you're a good friend of mine, and you didn't get a plaintive "send me your contact info, mother's maiden name, and any plans we might have for the upcoming year" email, please do send that info so I can get back on track! Side note to that - I'm probably not scheduled to have sex with any of you, so don't even try it.

2/1/01
As much as yesterday didn't feel like the end of January, today doesn't feel like the beginning of February. January started off on a great high note, but slowly slipped worse and worse. Hopefully this month will be better.

I'm off to Utah for the weekend tonight - see you all Sunday night.

-catherine

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